Chapter 33

That Wednesday I followed James down to Guildford. Privately I was a little nervous all of a sudden. Last time I had visited the studio I had been there as someone who had helped out on a shoot once, and as James' friend. But strictly a friend. I wondered what rumors was flying around in the crew, especially after James' had just taken off from Cardiff. Did everyone know? Or at least suspect? Whatever they knew, or thought they knew, me coming down to the studio with James again would pretty much confirm it. When we entered the barracks serving as production office I was greeted enthusiastically by Andy and some of the other people I vaguely remembered from last time.

«I had a day off, haven't started my new job yet, so I came along,» I smiled into a rather awkward silence. People were eyeing me and James a little curiously. Hammond bounded out the sofa and gave me a hug.

«You have a new job?» He asked enthusiastically.
«Yeah, at Queen Charlotte's Hospital, it's right by Hammersmith Hospital. Ward for prematurely born babies,» I smiled.

«Wow! Congratulations! That like... babies who are born too early, right? Must be rewarding,» he grinned, excited as ever. James and Richard were ushered into make-up and then went to the studio to read up on their scripts, Jezza burst through the door half an hour later and joined their reading session. I meandered around the studio, chatting to people in the crew or drooled over cars. I snapped a photo of an Aston Martin Virage on display, quickly uploading it to twitter. «I would marry it and have its babies. #AstonMartin». Just as I pressed send I felt familiar arms close around me from behind.

«Hello.»

«Hello,» I smiled, stuffing my phone into my pocket and turning around in his arms.

«You looked a little lonely,» he said, returning the smile. He pulled me in closer for a hug and just rested there, holding me against him. I closed my arms around him and buried my face against his jacket, completely forgetting that we were in a studio with crewmembers everywhere. James loosened his grip on me a little, but only to lean down and give me a kiss. A wolf-whistle came from somewhere in the depths of the studio. «Bloody teenagers,» James grumbled, rolling his eyes. I was surprised at this public display of affection, even though James had said he trusted the crew I wouldn't have expected this level of adoration from him at work. I gave him another kiss, nibbling teasingly at his bottom lip.

«James, you do know I'm standing next to an Aston, right?»

«Behave,» James said darkly, looking sternly at me. I just tossed my head coyly, giving him an evil smirk.

«God, you look like a painted whore,» I said after having studied him a little, spotting the foundation and powder the make-up lady had forced on him. James duck-laughter rang through the entire studio.

«I know..!» he said, still chuckling a little. «I hate this stuff. I better go, audience is about to be let in. Mmm, love you,» he said, giving me one last, lingering kiss then headed back towards Jezza and Richard at their little centre stage. I couldn't help but smile like an infatuated teenager as I watched him walk away, feeling giddy and in love. Jeremy's and Richard's laughs were ringing through the studio, I couldn't hear what they were saying but they were obviously taking the piss out of James about having gone all cuddly on me. A voice next to me almost made me jump out of my skin. Andy had sidled quietly up to me while I was busy staring at James.

«I can't believe I was right,» he said a little smugly, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked in the same direction as I was.

«Huh? Right? About what?» I looked around at Andy, confused.

«At the hospital in Syria. I said James was in love, remember? I was right!» Suddenly I remembered how Andy had joked about James being in love with me for bringing him a cup of proper tea.

«Lucky assumption,» I said, casting a side-long glance at Andy.

«Pff, lucky my arse. I know James pretty well,» he said simply, and left it at that.

«Yes, I guess you do.»

«I heard you two made a little appearance in the tabloids the other day.»

«Ugh, yeah..» I sighed, having temporarily forgotten about it. «That side of things is going to take some getting used to on my part.»

«If you're both serious about it you should just make a statement,» he waved. «Get it out of the way. James certainly doesn't seem to mind everyone knowing,» he added pointedly, obviously having seen our little display of affection.

«Well, I live with him now so... We're serious. We've talked about it, making a statement or something,» I nodded.

«You've moved in?» Andy's eyes widened in surprise and I just nodded. «Blimey, that's...»

«Fast? Unexpected? Unlike James?» I proffered.

«Yes.» He nodded, agreeing to all of it. «But then again, I've never seen him so happy. And that makes me happy.» Then he just wandered off, immedately going back to his role of being a producer. It somehow felt like a big step, this statement, like announcing an engagement or something. It felt strange having to make a public thing out of being in a relationship, about having to confirm it and make it official for everyone. But it was either that or more rumors that would just lead to the press becoming so curious we'd get hunted down by paparazzis. During the actual recording I stayed right at the back, just silently watching, giggling with the audience at scripted and unscripted jokes alike. Every now and then I felt like someone in the audience were studying me a little too intently, and I felt myself become more and more paranoid. Did they recognise me from that grainy photo in the paper? Or did they just wonder why I stood so relaxed at the back, seemingly not fussed about what was going on at the center of the room. Before I knew it the shoot was over and the audience was ushered out. I had kept well out of the way, not wanting any more rumours and newsstories. James let me drive home, happy to just sit and not have to concentrate for a while. He'd taken the Ferrari down, and I was always excited about driving that, it was just as exhilarating as the first time he let me drive it on our roadtrip in January. When we hit the motorway James suddenly broke the silence.

«Oh by the way, I got a text from my sister Sarah earlier, reminding me about this family birthday this weekend. My youngest niece turns.. erm... older...,» he finished vaguely, and I laughed.

«Oh James, you really are a horrible uncle,» I teased. «You don't even know how old she is! Where is it, Bristol?» James was born in Bristol and had they had moved around a lot, but I knew some of his family lived in Bristol now and that Sara was James' baby sister.

«Yeah, Bristol. Sunday afternoon, I said ages ago I'd come.»

«Oh, okay. You have to go then,» I smiled. «How long will you be gone for? Are you staying the night?» James hesitated a little before answering.

«Well, I was wondering if maybe you would want to come with me...?»

«Me?» I said loudly in surprise, not having even considered the possibility that I would be a part of a May family birthday. «Well, of course I'd like to, but... It's a family thing, isn't it? Your sisters and brother and your parents.... Wouldn't I be a little out of place? I wouldn't want to impose or.. intrude...»

«Well, yes, it is a family thing, but you're my girlfriend, I live with you, you're a big part of my life and I want them to meet you. Plus, I've met your entire family,» he said, rolling his eyes teasingly. «Parts of it in just my underpants!»

«Yeah, I know,» I said, failing to hide a giggle. «Of course I'd like to meet them, they're your family. Just... Do they even know about me?»

«Sarah knows I'm seeing someone, I think. She always knows when something is going on in my life, it's uncanny. Even if we just talk on the phone she can just... hear it in my voice, she has jedi mind tricks,» he muttered. I guffawed with surprised laughter.

«James, I'm amazed you even know the term 'jedi mind powers'!»

«I was 14 when the first Star Wars came out!» He argued and I raised my hands off the steering wheel for a brief second, showing my palms in a gesture of peace.

«Okay, all right. Just... call them, will you? Let them know you're bringing me, check if it's okay with them?»

«Yeah, I'll call Sarah later, let them all know you're coming,» he promised and put a hand on my knee. Silence fell as I grew anxious and worried about meeting James' family. Of course it was high time I met them, James and I were serious about each other and now we even lived together. I wanted to meet them, I was curious about his siblings and his parents, what kind of people they were and how they were as a family. And wondered if they would like me at all. Would they find it strange that I suddenly was living with James? And what would they say about our age difference, if anything at all? «You grew very quiet?» James suddenly pointed out.

«Hm? Oh, sorry. Just... I'm a little nervous about meeting your family,» I admitted honestly.

«Emily, I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. And so will they, don't worry.» His voice was calm and confident as he squeezed my knee comfortingly.

«James, the first minute you saw me, you saw five of me and barely knew your own name,» I pointed out mildly.

«And I fell in love with all five of you,» he said, knowing how cheesy he sounded. Suddenly a thought and a question popped into my head that I hadn't even considered until now, and before I could stop myself it fell out of my mouth.

«You were dating someone for quiet a while after I moved to London, though?» I didn't even know what possessed me to bring this up. We had never talked about it before, the subject just hadn't come up and I hadn't thought to ask. I threw a quick, sidelong glance at James before flicking my eyes back to the road. He seemed a little surprised, but I was relieved to see no annoyance or anger in his face.

«Yeah, I was,» he admitted with a regretful sigh. «It never was very serious, she was just... company and someone to distract me from feeling lonely and bored. Then I met you and everything changed. I wish I'd broken it off with her sooner, I kept seeing her when all I could think of was you, and that was unfair on her. I just hate disappointing people, I was worried I'd hurt her and didn't know how to tell her that I met... you.»

«Was she the angry woman on the phone that night we made pizzas?» The question had been lurking in the back of my mind ever since that night.

«Mmm,» he confirmed. «She was offended by the fact that I had chosen to spend one of my evenings off making food with a friend in stead of spending time with her. It didn't help that I somehow let slip that the friend I had over for food was a 'she'.»

«Aaw, James, you absolute pillock,» I chuckled, unable to bite back a laugh. «No wonder she was a bit cross.»

«I didn't care that she was, because you were there and I had such a good evening. It was you I wanted to spend my time with anyway, not her.» James hand found mine where it rested in my lap, and he interlaced his fingers with mine. We drove the rest of the way home in a comfortable silence. I didn't care that James had been dating someone, at the time we had just been friends and they had broken it off before James as much as kissed me. Privately I felt a little smug about what James had said, how I'd changed everything and how he'd thought about only me. Then I remembered the family birthday and began worrying again.

«You've bought your niece a gift, haven't you?»

«Oh cock,» James said loudly, frowning. «What the hell do you even buy for a ... little girl?»

«Emily, breathe.» I felt James' hand come to rest at the small of my back. I shifted my weight uneasily from one foot to the other, exhaling heavily, completely on edge. The entire day I had been a ball of nerves, running around the house like a maniac and trying on twenty different outfits. In the end James threatened that if I changed clothes one more time he was going to lock me in his garage. In an effort to soothe my nerves he'd let me drive to Bristol in the hope that it would give me something else to concentrate on. It had helped, at least a little. But now, as I found myself by the front door of James' sister's house, the nerves came back with full force. «Everything will be just fine.» James leaned in and nuzzled his face against my cheek, kissing it lightly. Just as he did the front door tore open and a blonde woman whom I guessed was one of his sisters just by family resemblance stared at us.

«Ooh, hello,» she said with a meaningful smirk, eyes darting between the two of us. I blushed furiously and wanted to dive into the nearest bush.

«Hello, Sarah,» James said with a sigh of brotherly exasperation. «Sarah, meet Emily. Emily, meet my younger sister Sarah.» We shook hands and she smiled widely at me.

«Come in, come in!» She waved us inside eagerly. The house was filled with voices and laughter and that typical scent of coffee that permeated all family gatherings. Just as the door closed behind us two girls came running from another room, obviously busy playing chase.

«Hi uncle James!» The younger one said loudly, waving at him as she was about to run past. Then she stopped in her tracks so abruptly that the one chasing after her knocked into her. «Uncle, who's that?» She asked, pointing at me.

«Oh, this is Emily, she's my.. um...» James began, not quite knowing how to tell his nieces who I was.

«I'm Emily, I'm his girlfriend,» I said with a smile, knowing full well that these girls were old enough to know what a girlfriend was. They stared from James to me, then to each other with wide-eyed awe and horror.

«Uncle James has a girlfriend?!» The older one said with a frown, somewhere between disbelief and genuine surprise. It was obvious that they were used to think of Uncle James as the eternal bachelor. The younger one dove into the living room.

«Hey, guys, uncle James has a girlfriend!» She announced loudly, still with that tone of disbelief.

«Yes, darling, we know,» Sarah said, managing to sound both stern, exasperated and amused. I giggled as I trailed after James into the livingroom, but bit my lip to try and hide it from the girls. «I'm sorry...» Sarah began embarrassedly.

«Oh don't worry about it,» I waved her down with a smile. «Kids will be kids.» I did the rounds, shaking hands with everyone, desperately trying to connect names to faces. His sisters, his brother and his parents I could remember, but the spouses and children were just a blur. I felt awkward and flustered as they all stared at me, studying me intently, I felt like a circus seal and they were all waiting for me to balance a ball on my nose. Gratefully I sank down on a chair and tried to relax a little, focusing on my cup of coffee. They resumed their banter, but I knew that sooner or later the conversation was going to focus on me again. I kept quiet, happy to just sit and be left in peace. In a dip in the conversation Sarah looked pointedly at me, then cleared her throat.

«So Emily, I seem to remembar James saying something about you not being from England?» She asked, eyes narrowing as she looked at me.

«Oh god, can't you hear that I'm not?» I raised my eyebrows in surprise. «I'm from Norway, actually.»

«And how did you two meet? James hasn't told us anything!» James' mum asked, eyes flitting between her son and me. All eyes turned towards us and the blush crept up my neck again. I looked up at James pleadingly, hoping he would tell the story.

«Well, I.. Remember that Top Gear episode when were in the Middle East? When I fell over and hit my head a bit?» He began.

«Oh god, don't even mention it!» James mum squawked loudly. «I absolutely hated seeing that, it looked so awful! You could've gotten badly hurt! Or died!» She continued, looking genuinely distressed. James raised a hand in an effort to calm his mother.

«You should thank Emily that none of those things happened,» James said. He sent me a look filled with someone I couldn't quite define, was it pride? Was he proud of me? «She was the nurse who took care of me at the hospital in Damascus. She was there doing humanitarian work at the hospital with um.. Red Cross, was it?» James looked sidelong at me and I nodded. «After leaving Syria she moved to London to study some more and work as a nurse, and we... Kept in touch,» James finished, thinking the rest of the story sort of told itself.

«Syria? You went there to work? God, I never would've dared that, that sounds so dangerous!» James' mum observed.

«Study? What did you study?» James' elder sister Jane looked at me interestedly.

«I wanted to get a diploma in tropical nursing. Most humanitarian organisations require that health workers have it if they're to work in third world countries. I decided to take it here as it was part-time and not as expensive as in Norway. I've completed it now, though.»

«Tropical nursing?» Jane repeated,

«Yes, it's about tropical diseases, parasites, vaccinations and medication, prevention of HIV, malaria and other diseases, sanitation... It's related to travel medicine. Seeing as more and more people travel to exotic places and we get more and more immigrants, it's a useful field to know something about. Even if I never go back to Africa or Asia to work.» Stop ranting. Emily, stop ranting right now, you're boring them out of their skulls.

«Sounds interesting!» Sarah said, and I was relieved to hear a note of sincerity in her voice. «You mentioned Africa – have you been there too?»

«Well, yes...» I said hesistantly. «That was ages ago, I was 19, I went with this microfinance foundation. Went to Kenya and Uganda, visited slums, orphanages, centres for street kids, children's prisons..»

«Prison for children? How awful!» James' mum gasped. I knew to pause at this part, someone always commented on the horror of a children's prison.

«Well, yes,» I sighed, trying not to remember it too vividly. «The whole trip was an eye-opener, really gives you some perspective in life.»

«God, I can imagine...» Sarah breathed, eyes wide. «And now? Are you working as a nurse in London?»

«Yeah, I'm just starting a new job next week,» I said, smiling as I remembered that I had gotten such a great job. «It's at a prematurity clinic a few miles north of Hammersmith.» The women around the table drew heartfelt sighs at the mention of prematurely born babies.

«Nurse, humanitarian work, Red Cross, slums in Africa, premature babies.. James, you're dating Mother Theresa!» David said and gave his brother a teasing smile.

«Oh god, no I'm not,» I said shaking my head and biting back a laugh, feeling myself growing hot around the ears again. «I just... I like helping people,» I finished humbly.

«She's good at it, too,» James said and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. «She took very good care of me in Syria. I had such an awful day, nearly cracked my head open, it was too bloody hot and dusty and you wouldn't believe the headache I had. Then she walks in, hands me a cup of tea and just like that, everything is all right. And not just any old cup of tea, it was PG Tips!» He caressed my upper arm. The love I saw in James' eyes made me forget that his whole family was watching us and I returned the look, smiling a little.

«Aaw, you two are just too cute!» Jane said, clapping her hands excitedly. It was James' turn to blush a little. The May family considered themselves done with the interrogation for now, and I drew a sigh of relief. James sensed it and squeezed my shoulders a little before letting me go. The rest of the afternoon went by with the blowing of candles, the eating of cake and the unwrapping of presents. I was quite happy to just sit back and keep to the background, taking part in the conversation whenever it felt natural. The kids were loud and silly, high on sugar and enjoying the attention from their entire family. As the afternoon passed I felt myself loosen up a little, the atmosphere around the table was relaxed, full of laughter and happy banter. Oddly enough it made me miss my own family. Eventually James worldlessly held out his watch for me, showing me the time and we quietly decided it was time to get back to London. The family protested loudly until they heard my excuse of having my first shift at the hospital the next morning. James' mum caught us up while we were in the hallway, having just put on our shoes and jackets.

«James, dear, I almost forgot, I made you fruitcake!» She said a little breathlessly, shoving a plastic container into his hands. Once again I had to bite my lip not to laugh, remembering how James had been complaining over Christmas about his jeans getting too tight. But I also knew how much he loved his mums' fruitcake.

«Thanks, mum,» he said gratefully, and for a moment I could clearly see them as mother and son. Then she turned her attention to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

«Oh and Emily, sweetheart, it was so nice meeting you,» she said in that sweet, motherly fashion only mums are capable of.

«Aw, thank you, Mrs. May...» I said a little flustered, growing hot around the ears again. «It's been really nice meeting all of you, too.»

«Good luck at your first shift tomorrow, too,» she added, and I froze up when she gave me a quick hug. Then she wrapped her arms around her son. «James, get her home safely!»

«Captain Slow, mum!» James reminded her exasperatedly, patting her back. She waved us out the door and we got into the car, wordlessly agreeing that James was driving home. It took about two minutes before the silence had driven me up the wall.

«James, say something!» I said abruptly. James jumped in the driver's seat.

«About what?» He asked, genuinely having no clue what I was so worked up over.

«Your family! What do they think about me? How did I do? Did I act like an idiot?!» I babbled. James gave me a quick, sidelong glance. Then he broke out laughing, loudly and sincerely. I played back what I had just said in my head, realising I had sounded like an absolute nutter.

«I'm sorry, I'm just a bit on edge...»

«Neurotic, more like. I thought I was neurotic!» James said, still laughing. I tried to laugh with him, but the laughter died quickly in my throat. «Since when do you care so much about being liked?»

«James, they're your family! Of course it matters what they think about me!»

«I love you, that's what matters,» he said stubbornly.

«Oh goooood,» I whined, leaning forwards and wrapping my arms around my knees, hiding my face. «It went that badly?»

«Oh Emily, stop being ridiculous.» I felt James' hand on my back, stroking it gently. «That wasn't what I meant at all. Of course they liked you, why shouldn't they?» Encouraged by this I sat up again, looking over at James.

«You think?» I bit my lip insecurely.

«Yes, I think so. My mum definitely liked you. Awfully nice as she is, she isn't in the habit of calling people she's just met for 'sweetheart'.»

«I noticed that. You call me sweetheart,» I smiled, feeling a little better.

«Because that's what you are. See, even my mum could see that.»

«You're awfully cute when you're all... mushy,» I said, running a hand quickly over his cheek. «But thank you.»

«You were awfully quiet, though?»

«Yeah, I just... I do that when I meet new people, I kind of need to... get a feel for people. And I hate to be thought of as an awful chatterbox.»

«When I met you, you couldn't stop talking!» James teased.

«I had to keep you awake or you would have died,» I said flatly and he chuckled.

«Stop worrying, Emily,» he said, patting my knee gently. «You think far too little of yourself, you always have.»

«You're right though,» I admitted, lacing my fingers with his. «You love me, and that is the important thing. And I love you.» I rested back against the seat and closed my eyes, feeling relieved that the meeting was over and reassured by James' words. Before long I was asleep.