Chapter 43

«At the airport waiting for the flight taking me to Bali for two weeks! #MostExcitedI'veEverBeenInMyLife». Restless and giddy, I was using my iPad to occupy myself by being on twitter and emails, trying to make time go faster until we had to board. Thankfully the airport lounge had free Wifi. I was trying to remind myself that I was in for a long flight, about 7 hours to Qatar where we had a stopover, then about another 10 hours from Qatar to Bali, with a quick stop in Singapore for refuelling. Thankfully I had equipped myself with a pair of sleeping pills that would hopefully get me through the most of it. I had been so giddy and bouncy while packing and going to the airport James had compared it to travelling with his nieces and nephews. All of them. Simultaneously. The iPad made a plonk, notifying me of a reply to my tweet. «@Emily Amazing coincidence, I'm on my way there too! #MeetForADrink?» I laughed loudly as I read James' reply. He was sitting opposite me using his laptop, happy that I had managed to calm down enough to sit down and quietly play with my toy. Ever since James and I had gone 'public', we had become a public thing on Twitter as well. We didn't tweet each other that often, simply because we didn't need to, but whenever we did, like now, it caused a storm of replies. Most of them were fans of Top Gear or of James in general wishing us a good trip.

Coming to Bali was indescribable. Before arriving I had high expectations, but what met in Bali surpassed all of them. We were staying at a fantastic resort situated in an amazingly gorgeous bay. We had a bungalow all to ourselves, and even though there were bungalows around us they were all built in such a way that you felt like you had some privacy and were hidden from prying eyes. The bungalow had a small kitchen and a beautiful bathroom as well as a huge wooden balcony a few metres above the sea. Built into the floor of the balcony was a hammock, and lying in it meant you were suspended above the water with a gorgeous view of the bay and the ocean. I fell head over heels in love with the place. Seeing the clear, blue-green waters I nearly ran to the closest diving school and signed up for class, and spent 3-4 hours every day for the first week few days, first in an in-door swimming pool and then in the sea, and I had a few short lessons. On the fifth day I had completed my training and James and I could go on our first, proper dive. We stayed down for a few hours, and it was exactly as I remembered it was when I went for my first, short dive at 19. It was like entering a completely different world hidden within my own, almost void of sound except the rustle of water, but amazingly beautiful. Bali didn't get too hot, this time of year it stayed between 20 and 32 celcius, which was perfect for me. The sunshine, the warm water, the spicy scents permeating the air, it was exactly what I wanted and needed. James and I went for a few excursions, walking about town and the market, or went to see temples or other noteworthy places.

One evening we'd been out to a fantastic dinner and had gone back to our bungalow, lit a few candles on the balcony and crawled into the hammock to watch the sunset. We were nestled closely together amidst a pile of pillows, feeling warm, full and comfortable. As I lay there I became completely lost in my own thoughts. James' voice brought me out of my preoccupied silence.
«Emily?»
«Mm?» My eyes snapped back into focus and when I looked at James he saw that my eyes were full of melancholy.
«Where were you just now? You look sad..» James said, looking concerned. I gave him a small smile, shaking my head a little.
«I was just... thinking. You know... Nine years ago, pretty much to the day, I was planning how I was going to commit suicide.» The severity of these words seemed to hit James like a tonne of bricks, his face went pale and his eyes widened a little. He knew I'd had depressions and struggled for a long time, but I had never told him this.
«Really..?» Was all he managed.
«I was going to use my car, and I even knew which cliff to drive off so it was guaranteed to kill me. I sat in my living room with the car keys in my hand all night, fighting with myself. I just wanted out. I felt completely useless, and so worthless that I honestly thought I didn't deserve or was worth the food I was eating. Bitterness, guilt and shame was torturing me all the time, all I could think of was how life maybe could have been if my mum hadn't died, and of all the things I wasn't able to do; work, school, have a social life... I remember I used to say that I was too much of a coward to even commit suicide.»
«Emily, why are you thinking about this..?» James asked. His face had a pained expression, it obviously hurt him to hear me talk about how my life had been.
«Because... Looking back at how my life was then, it seems unbelievable that I'm even here, that I've come this far. My life has changed so completely. Back then I hated everything about my life, and most of all I hated myself. And now... I have everything I've ever wanted in life. I live in a fantastic city. I have a job that feels worthwhile, one I love doing. I have my family, and I have good friends. But most important of all; I have you.» All the love I had for James, and all the happiness I felt in my life hit me like a wave, making my eyes well up and my lower lip tremble. «And now... I'm here, in paradise, with the love of my life. This moment, right here, is the polar opposite to that moment when I sat staring at the car keys in my hand. Nine years ago I didn't think that I'd get to experience this level of happiness. Right now, everything is absolutely perfect.» A few tears escaped my eyes as I smiled at James. «I want to... thank you. For coming into my life, and for wanting me in yours. And for making me feel so loved. You care for me, you support me, understand me... You are everything I need. You're my home.» It was James' turn to struggle, he blinked hard a few times and fought with his own trembling bottom-lip.
«... Are you the one practicing your wedding speech now?» He said in a constricted voice and I couldn't help but laugh and blush. «God, I love you so much,» he sighed and gave me a long, lingering kiss. When he broke away he looked at me quietly for a long time, running his hand over my hair. «It kills me to hear how much you suffered. Thank you for not taking you car out that night. I am so incredibly proud of you for fighting your way through that. You are the strongest person I know.»
«Thank you,» I whispered and kissed him deeply. «I'm sorry, I just... had a mushy moment,» I sniffed, feeling myself blushing a little.
«Meanwhile you're missing out on a great sunset,» James pointed out, as I was lying with my back to it. I turned around so I laid with my back against James' chest and wrapped his arm around my waist, interlacing my fingers with his. Taking in the sea and the sunset I took a deep breath and sighed happily.
«James... as much as I love our life in London, can we just.. stay here forever?»
«Mmm, it's a tempting thought, isn't it...» James agreed, nuzzling the back of my neck. «But you and me, we have so many other paradises to discover.» At this I smiled to myself.
«I like the sound of that.»
Our sixteen days on Bali went by way too quickly. We rented a car and spent two days driving around the entire island, both of us wanted to see as much as possible. We stayed at a hotel in a town about halfway around the island, leaving our beloved bungalow for a night. One day we went on a guided tour in the rainforest in the middle of the the island. What we saw on our travels was a country and a landscape that was absolutely breathtaking. I found myself not missing London, or the comforts of living in a huge city, at all. We managed to do some more diving, and the rest of the time we spent relaxing in the sun, reading books or talking. At night we usually went out for dinner and had a few beers. It was the first time I had James properly to myself since we went on our road trip the first week we were together, away from work and everything that laid claim to his time. It felt wonderful to be able to focus on nothing but each other, and even thought I didn't think it was possible I found myself falling even more in love with James. We were flirty and giggly and hopelessly, sickeningly in love with each other, and it showed. Almost daily we were asked if we were on our honeymoon.
Wisely enough we had decided that our last day on Bali before going home was going to be a relaxing one. We'd gone for one last dive in the ocean, and then lazed about in the sun with our books for the rest of the day. I tried my best not to be in a bad mood. Our holiday had been fantastic and I had no right to sulk about going home. So in stead I kept quiet and tried to pass it off as being 'serenely silent'. And I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it. By late afternoon James appeared at the balcony door, looking stern.
«Get up. Stop moping.» He said flatly, towering over me as I lay in the hammock.
«I.. what? I'm not...» I stammered.
«Oh don't even start» he said, his voice a little milder now. «I know you're sad about going home tomorrow, and I also know you're trying to hide it. Come on, lets go for a walk on the beach,» James said with a smile, hunching down and stretching out an arm for me to take. I took it and crawled gracelessly out of the hammock.
«I'm sorry...» I mumbled a little ashamedly, hiding my face against his chest. «I'm an awful human being, I've just spent over two weeks in paradise and I have the nerve to be a mopey git.»
«Oh shut up,» James said with a little giggle, cradling my face in his hands and pulled it up to his own, giving me a kiss. «Beach walk?»
«Mhm,» I nodded. Realising that my sandals would just fill with sand anyway I left them behind. The sand was still warm from the heat of the sun as I stepped onto the beach from our bungalow. James took my hand and we headed away from the resort, the beach stretching out empty in front of us for what seemed like miles. The sun would soon be setting, and I felt another pang of sadness when I relised it was my last sunset on Bali. We walked in silence for a while, holding hands, hearing nothing but the sounds of the ocean and the birds. I stared at the sea, mesmerized by the beauty of it, and hardly knew what had happened when everything went dark. As my body caught up with its senses I realised that James had slipped a scarf over my eyes, and now he was tying it at the back of my head.
«James! What are you doing?» I squealed and laughed.
«It's a secret,» he said quietly into my ear, standing behind me. «And for it to remain a secret you have to not see anything.»
«O.. kay...» I said a little hesitantly. My heart was beating faster and I couldn't stop myself smiling as my thoughts raced around in my head. What was the secret?
«We'll have to walk a little bit, though.» James' voice was still close to my ear. His hands were trailing lightly up and down my arms, caressing me.
«Ah. See, that is going to be a problem, because I can't see!» I pointed out dryly.
«I'll guide you,» James said as he slid his fingertips down my arms. When he reached my hands he interlaced his fingers with mine. Holding my hands he began steering me forwards, and I took a few tentative, wobbly steps. Not having my vision made me feel disorientated and unbalanced, especially when walking on sand. I giggled at my own clumsiness, and so did James. It didn't take long before I decided to just trust James, however, as he supported and guided me forwards. Lacking a point of reference it felt like we walked miles, and James sensed my impatience. «Not far now.» James' hands let go of mine as we finally came to a halt, and his fingertips slid up my arms and shoulders, so lightly it caused me to erupt into goosebumps. «Ready?» My voice failed me, all I could do was nod vigorously as I held my breath. James untied the knot, fiddling with it unneccessarily, then gently removed the scarf. I blinked rapidly to adjust to the light and get everything into focus. Then I gasped. Before me was a cabana with a typical indonesian straw roof. It didn't have any walls, just a pillar in each corner that was draped in white curtains and adorned with gorgeous flowers. Underneath the roof was a dinner table and two chairs. A few torches were dug into the sand, and masses of lit lanterns were strewn on the beach all around the cabana. The sun was still setting, and the scene was absolutely breathtaking. Without even being aware of it I had covered my mouth with both of my hands in sheer surprise, and my eyes were welling up as I was trying to take it all in. «I was hoping you would do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?» James said as he walked around to look at me. With my hands still covering my face all I could do was nod. I was at a complete loss for words as I looked from James and back to the perfect, romantic scene in front of me. Stretching out his hand to squeeze my shoulder, James raised his eyebrows at me. «Say something?» I removed my hands from my mouth and quickly wiped a few tears off my cheek.
«Oh, James, I... I don't know what to... This is... Amazing. Thank you,» I stammered and sniffed. «But how did you..?» I asked.
«I recruited the help of that nice woman back at the resort...» James began, obviously not remembering her name.
«Kay?»
«Yeah, her. It isn't the first time they've had requests to help with these sort of romantic ideas, she has some experience in these things. So she and I planned it all. I wanted to... give you a surprise. And make sure that your last night here was the best one, so you wouldn't be so sad about going home.» I smiled as James said this, amazed at how well it was possible for one human to know another. He had known that I'd be sad about leaving, and done this just to distract me from that.
«Thank you sweetheart...» I smiled, finally having regained the use of my words. «God, I don't deserve this... You are really spoiling me.»
«You deserve all of this and much, much more,» James said sincerely and cupped my face in his hands, kissing me softly. «Hmm... Champagne?» He suggested.
«Yes, please,» I smiled. He took my hand and led me between the lanterns to the cabana and gestured for me to sit down. There was a champagnebucket half buried in the sand, filled with ice to keep the champagne cool. James quickly uncorked it and poured it into the tall glasses on the table, then handed a glass to me before sitting down.
«I don't have any huge, romantic toast prepared..» James said, looking at his glass of bubbly. «So.. here's to you and me, sweetie,» he said and held out his glass, and I clinked it with mine.
«To you and me,» I smiled back and had a sip. A silence fell between us, a strange and awkward one, as if we were on our first ever date and felt shy around each other. We both picked up on it at the same time and looked at each other, then burst out laughing.
«I really thought the awkward dating-phase was over by now,» he chortled.
«James, we never even really had that phase, did we?» I observed, also giggling.
«We didn't really, no...» James nodded slowly. «I never felt particularly awkward with you, not even in the beginning. Which is strange, because that is usually my normal mode around people before I get to know them,» James admitted. Thinking back to the time when we first got to know each other I smiled wistfully.
«I know what you mean. Spending time with you always felt... natural. You know, familiar. Even that first night when you came over and built all my furniture,» I laughed.
«Oh god, I will never understand what possessed me to, normally I would never have had the courage to do something like that, just... barge into a womans' flat and start building furniture. And don't give me all the credit, you built just as much as me!»
«It surprised me that you did. But I was also very excited about seeing you again,» I admitted. I realised that we'd never really talked about this before, about the first times we met and how we got to know each other.
«When I realised you were in London, I couldn't wait, I had to see you again. Back in Syria, we met for such a short time, but I just.. I had to figure it out, had to see if whatever I had felt in Syria was just.. my imagination, or something real. Or brain damage,» he added with a smirk. «I felt bonkers just for thinking that I had felt anything, I mean... How could I? Like I said, we barely met and still I couldn't stop thinking about you. Getting to know people hasn't always been easy for me, and having feelings for anyone was something that always took time, I guess I was sort of guarded that way. But with you, that guard just... Disappeared.»
«I'm glad it did.» I reached over the table and put my hand over James', squeezing it a little. Two weeks in Bali had given James quite a tan and made his hair go a little lighter. It suited him, making him look healthy and gorgeous. The white linen shirt he was wearing made him look even more tanned. "You are a very, very handsome man right now," I smiled, feeling how my heart beat a little faster just by looking at him.
"Just right now?" He said, looking a little crestfallen.
"No, you're always handsome. But especially right now." James opened his mouth to say something, but a shout in the distance interrupted us.
«Ah, food!» James said with a smile. An indonesian man approaced us balancing a ridiculously huge tray filled with various plates of Balinese food. We'd both agreed that we loved the traditional food in Bali, so here was a bit of everything. The man expertly manoeuvred the tray onto our table, then sat a square bag that he had been carrying on his back down next to us. In it was water and a bunch of beer, as it just went better with balinese food than wine did. Or so James and I thought, in any case. The man bowed to us then disappeared into the treeline behind the beach again.
«Did he walk all the way here with all of that?» I asked in amazement.
«I think that's the sound of a car leaving in the distance, so... no,» James pointed out. His focus had shifted to the food and he was clearly struggling with what to begin with. «Oh bugger it, it's all good,» he scoffed and started loading stuff onto his plate. We quietly dug into our food and our beer for a while. Every now and again I had to have a look around, just to remind myself of where I was; taking in the sunset, the lanterns glowing in the dusk and the sea. In the end, and with plenty of food left, we both realised we had to capitulate.
«God, that was.. heavenly,» I sighed, slumping back against the chair. «But I am already regretting it.»
«Me too,» James chuckled. Getting up from his chair he stretched luxuriously, then reached out a hand for me. I looked up at him quizzically, wondering why he wanted me to get up. «Come on,» he said impatiently, waving his hand about for me to take it. When I did he dragged me up off the chair. From the back of the chair he had been sitting on he pulled off a blanket, I hadn't even noticed it was there, and he spread it out on the sand in front of the cabana. Taking my hand again he sat down on the blanket and pulled me down to him so I sat between his legs with my back resting against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled the side of my neck and cheek, breathing me in with a deep sigh. «I'm sorry, I just needed to be closer to you,» he said, explaining to why he'd moved from the table.
«Mm, that's okay, I like this,» I purred in his arms. Taking in the beautiful, romantic surroundings I sighed happily. «Thank you so much for all of this, James... This entire holiday has been absolutely amazing, and this right here is just... indescribable.» I craned my neck and gave James a long, grateful kiss before turning back to watch the sunset.
«You're welcome, sweetie,» James said, wrapping his arm a little tighter around me and resting his cheek against mine, just holding me close while we watched the sunset. After a little silence he spoke again. «You know, saying that you don't deserve this... that's just bollocks. That's the old you talking. I know you felt worthless for a long time, and sometimes I think part of you still holds on to that thought. But just the fact that you went through all of that makes you deserve this. After all the pain and grief, don't you think you deserve a little happiness?»
«Hmm... maybe,» I said hesitantly. Even though I had gone through a long and dark period in my life, I still didn't feel like I was worthy of all the good things that had happened in my life; my education, my job, my life with James.
«I think you do. You spend most of your days being kind and selfless, helping others. And I love you, and more than anything in the world I want to make you happy. That's why you deserve this,» James finished and hugged me tighter as he kissed my cheek.
«Thank you, love,» I said in a constricted voice, squeezing his arm and leaning into him. «And you do make me happy.» We watched the sunset together in a long and comfortable silence. James had his arms around me, and I caressed his legs. Both of us were completely in the moment, taken by the breathtaking beauty of our surroundings and the love we felt for each other. As the sun was nearly gone over the horizon, James' arms loosened around me.
«There's this one thing I thought we could do,» he said and got up from the blanket. «Hang on.» I watched him as he went into the cabana and rummaged around in the bag the man had brought us for a little before returning to the blanket. James sat down beside me again. «These are sky lanterns. You light them and they float away like a small hot-air balloon.»
«Oh yeah, I've seen those before,» I said, looking at the bundle of rice paper and string with a blob of wax at the bottom.
«In Japan they have this festival, everyone goes home to their family homes and they believe that by lighting lanterns at their houses or in graveyards they guide the family spirits home. By the end of the festival the lanterns are placed on the river, and as they drift away so does the familiy spirits, guided back to rest.»
«Was that what you guys saw in.. where was it? Vietnam?»
«Mm, in Hoi An. Not sure if that was the same festival, though. Anyway, we don't have a river anywhere nearby, but... When I saw them I remembered the festival in Japan. Then I thought about your mum, and your best mate. And how much they mean to you. So... I thought that maybe, if you want to, we could send up one for each of them? Honor their memory?» When James looked at me he seemed a little apprehensive, as if he was worried I might become upset by his suggestion. To reassure him I smiled mildly and nodded.
«That is a great idea, I'd love that.»
«Good,» James smiled and leaned in for a kiss before getting up from the blanket and stepped onto the sand. I got up clumsily and followed him. Carefully so as to not rip the delicate ricepaper James unfolded the first lantern. «Here, we have to hold it up until the air inside it heats up enough for it to fly on its own,» James explained, and I helped holding onto it while James lit the flammable wax suspended underneath it. It was almost dark outside now, the sun was gone and a pale stripe of blue and pink was all that was visible over the horizon. James left me to hold the first one while he set about lighting the second one. I watched him as he unfolded the second lantern and lit the wax. I giggled a little at how focused he was on the task at hand. Holding the lantern I felt it get gradually lighter, wanting to fly as the air trapped inside it got heated up. «Just let it go if it starts to get buoyant.»
«Hmm, okay..» I said and gingerly let go of the lantern, half-expecting it to fall to the ground. It seemed to just hover in mid-air in front of me for a moment, then it started its tentative ascent, slowly rising upwards. Having made sure the first lantern was definitely staying airborn, I walked over to James and helped him hold his. Not long after the first we raised the lantern further off the ground then let it go, and it too began floating upwards.
«There they go,» James said, keeping his eye on the lanterns as they kept climbing higher. The sky above us was dark now, and the lanterns lit up like beautiful, slow-moving orbs reaching for the stars.
«I miss you guys,» I sighed as I watched, thinking of the two people we were honoring. James' arms closed around me from behind, comforting me by hugging me tightly. «I wish they were still here. I wish they could see me now, see how my life has changed. Even if I'm not sure they can 'see' anything, they're gone.»
«Well.. If they can see you, I'm certain that they are very proud of you. And if they can't... Just know that they would have been so proud of you if they were alive, just like I'm incredibly proud of you,» James said softly, rubbing my arms as I was getting a little chilly now that the sun had gone.
«Aw, thank you sweetie,» I said and turned around to kiss him gratefully. «I wish you'd met them. I wish you'd met my mum, she was an odd one,» I laughed, thinking of her weird habits. «She was a total night owl, like me, and always wandered around at night in her nightdress and big, woolly socks. While doing crosswords or knitting. She had this amazing ability to do fifteen things at once, she could knit while reading a book and talk to her sister on the phone while keeping half an eye on the telly.»
«Like mother like daughter, eh?» James chortled.
«I do not have old ladies' nightdresses!» I protested.
«But the rest of it sounds just like you.»
«Okay, fair enough, you have a point.»
«Do you think your mum would've liked me?» James asked.
«Yeah, definitely,» I said without hesitation, having thought about it many times. «She liked people who were themselves, people who were intelligent and compassionate and down-to-earth. And you are all those things. And she played the piano and liked poetry, so you'd have things in common. She hated people who were fake or shallow or narrow-minded. Yeah, she'd definitely like you. As long as you were prepeared to play cards with here while drinking coffee and smoking all night.»
«I could have done that,» James said with a little laugh.
«And, she was born in -54, so she was only nine years older than you! I bet you could've shared some memories from ye olden days,» I added with a giggle. James rolled his eyes exasperatedly.
«Gee, thanks for making me feel ancient!» He huffed, but then he broke out into a smile, revealing that he hadn't been offended at all. Cupping his face in my hands I pulled his face down to mine for a kiss.
«I really wish they could've met you. I would have been so proud to be able to call you mine,» I whispered with a smile.
«I wish I could have met them too. So I could've thanked them for taking care of you and making you into the amazing person you are,» James replied, and I almost went weak at the knees.
«And I wish I could hear things like that without sobbing like a damn girl!» I complained, blinking back a few tears. James smiled and shook his head at me a little, then spun me around and wrapped his arms around me again. Then he pointed upwards to where the lanterns were floating high above the sea in the middle of the bay, far away. They seemed almost stationary, just two glowing shapes suspended in the air. We stood and watched in silence for a long time as the lanterns soared ever higher and further away. With the sun long gone the air had gone chilly, and since I had almost acclimatised to the warmer climate it made me shiver.
«We should head back,» James said quietly. «You're getting cold and we have to get up early in the morning.»
«Mm, I know,» I sighed a little sadly. I hadn't wanted the holiday to end, and I especially hadn't wanted this night to end. But now that it was inevitably coming to a close, I felt happy and content. Our trip had been amazing, and this nigth had been the perfect ending to it. With an effort I tore my eyes away from the two lanterns in the distance and turned around to James. «Come on, lets go back. Just know that you're getting sex tonight,» I added warningly. James' eyes widened in pleasant surprise.
«Oh really?»
«Oh yes, really. A surprise dinner like this one makes you deserving of as much cuddling and sex as you could possibly want,» I laughed.
«I would take you right here, but the sand would be a nightmare,» James laughed back. He grabbed one of the torches that were dug into the sand and his free hand found mine, then we went back to the bungalow and our last night on Bali.

Chapter 42

I heard the motorcycle engine as James turned onto our street. I heard how it slowed and eventually stopped, then the garage doors opening. Knowing I didn't have much time I ran upstairs to prepare. After what felt like an eternity I heard James come into the house.

«Emily?»

«Up here!» I called. I watched him as he appeared in the hallway, immediately heading for the stairs as he thought I was upstairs. When he noticed me at the top of the stairs he came to an abrupt halt.

«Fucking hell...» he gasped, staring up at me with his mouth hanging open. Wanting to give James his second surprise of the day I had stripped down to nothing but a sexy pair of lace knickers and my leather biker jacket, which was closed half way up. James kept staring, drinking me in, completely stunned by what he was seeing. Tired of waiting for him to do or say something I just gave him a coy smirk, turned on my heels and began walking towards the bedroom. After a few seconds I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, chasing after me. Just as I reached the bedroom door I felt his hand clasp mine, turning me around to face him. With another smile, a little more seductive this time, I pulled him inside the room and towards the bed, then pushed him down to sit. Being deliberately slow I swung a leg over his knees and sank down on his lap, straddling him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and caressed the back of his neck. All the while James had just stared at me, wide-eyed, completley transfixed by my seductive determination. His hands fell to my bare thighs.

«Hello, baby,» I said with a little smile. James had to swallow hard and clear his throat to get any sounds out, and even then it was just a faint croak.

«Hi...» He looked at me expectantly, his eyes glittering, waiting for me to make a move. I licked my lips and bent down, brushing my lips over the skin beneath his ear.

«Did you think of me on your way home...?» I breathed against his now wet skin.

«Fuck, yes...» He said with a groan, tilting his head to the side to give me better access. His hands were rubbing my thighs slowly.

«I thought about you too...» I admitted in a whisper as I slid my hands down his chest and sides before gripping his t-shirt and pulling it off him. «So, how do you like your second surprise of the day?» I asked as I straightened up, casually tossing his t-shirt on the floor. James eyed me up and down as he answered, staring at what little of my naked chest that was visible by the half-open leather jacket.

«Just as much as the first, but in a very, very different way...» He said a little hoarsely.

«I said I'd be waiting home for you one day wearing just a leather jacket, didn't I?» I smirked and gave him a long, deep kiss. James hummed throatily when I ran my tongue along his bottom lip then tugged at it a little with my teeth. As I kissed my way down his neck and chest I slipped off his lap and onto my knees on the floor in front of him. I stared deeply into his eyes as I slowly began undoing his belt and the buttons on his jeans. James watched every move I made, mesmerized by this new side I was showing him, one I hadn't though I possessed. Never before in my life had anyone made me feel so at ease, so safe or so comfortable as James had, in our relationship in general and in our sexlife. I trusted him completely now, and in a way I always had. In previous relationships I thought I had been able to relax and let go, but being with James had made me realise that I hadn't – there had always been some insecurities or some pressure there. But with James there was no pressure, no expectations, I could just have fun and explore new sides of myself. His compliments from earlier had boosted my confidence. The way he was reacting to me now, how he was completely hypnotized by everything I did fueled that confidence, it made me feel like I had power over him, that I was really lusted after and wanted. Having undone his jeans I tugged at his pockets and he raised his bum off the bed slightly so I could pull them off. The thin cotton fabric of his boxers did nothing to hide his erection. Seeing how aroused I had made him, was another confidence boost, and it turned me on; I wanted nothing more than to touch his cock, make James moan and feel him inside me. While my hands caressed his legs and hips I kissed his lower thigh, slowly working my way upwards. Reaching the thin, sensitive skin on his inner thigh I dragged my teeth across is, biting ever so gently. A sharp intake of breath let me know that he was enjoying the sensation. Standing on my knees on the floor in front of him I arched my back as much as possible, making sure my bum stuck out for him to see while I kissed and licked my way up his thighs. I slid my hands up the outside of his thighs and slipped them inside his boxers, dragging my fingertips over his hips. Looking up at James I gave him a secretive smile and a lustful gaze before kissing his stomach, then I slipped a finger inside the waistband of his boxers and pulled it down just enough to expose the head of his cock which I until now had been carefully ignoring and avoiding. With a hum I licked my lips and gave the tip a featherlight kiss, then another. James sighed and ran his fingers through my hair. Opening my mouth I ran my tongue around him in circles and he hummed in reponse. He squirmed a little impatiently and I sensed how he was holding back from pushing himself into my mouth. I kept teasing his sensitive head, kissing and nipping at it, placing my lips around it as if I were to take him into my mouth, then going back to kissing. Deciding to put him out of his misery I pulled more on the waistband of his boxer to free his cock completely, then I closed my lips around him and enveloped him in the warmth of my mouth.

«Bloody Nora!» He gasped, and his fingers dug into my shoulder. I bobbed my head, sliding his cock in and out of my mouth, tightening my lips around him to increase friction. Just as James let out a moan and shuddered with please I slid him out of my mouth, having decided before I even began that I was just going to tease him. James threw his eyes open when he felt my mouth suddenly disappearing. I let go of the waistband on his boxer and it snapped back, then I got to my feet. Leaning my arms on his thighs I bent down and kissed him lazily. «You are very... mean...» James punctuated his words with a kiss. At those words I pulled back and straightened up, and he looked up at me with exasperation. He knew I had pulled back just to punish him. Without saying a word I walked around the bed and laid down on it, resting my head comfortably against the pillow. James' eyes were still following me from where he sat at the foot of the bed. Spreading my legs a little I stretched out a hand towards him.

«Come here,» I asked, and James crawled onto the bed. Standing on all fours over me he looked searchingly into my eyes, wondering who was in control now. I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulled his face to mine and kissed his mouth, then trailed kisses along his jaw and neck. Barely grazing my lips over his skin I spoke in a husky whisper. «I'm yours, James. Take me, do whatever you want with me...» As I spoke I trailed my fingertips along his spine, caressing his skin. In response to my words James raised his head and his mouth found mine. The kiss he gave me was completely different to how he had kissed me before, this was hungry and demanding, I had given over control and James was letting me know he had taken it. With a final hum he broke away then sat up, sitting on his knees between my legs. He let his eyes and hands trail over my body. Reaching the bottom hem of the leather jacket he slid his hands up along the fabric until they reached the half-closed zipper. He undid it slowly, not taking his eyes off his own hands. When the jacket was undone he pulled it open slightly, enough to almost expose my breasts, but not quite. He placed a palm between my breasts and slid it down my chest and stomach, then over my hip and thighs.

«God, you are so sexy. You look absolutely... divine...» He sighed as he trailed his hands over my body. I felt how I blushed furiously, not able to help myself. With a little smile he leaned over me again, his hair falling across his face as he brought it close to mine. «I find it amazing that you can meet me dressed like that, seduce me and arouse me so completely, then almost spontaneously combust with embarrassment when I tell you how bloody sexy I think you are,» he said with a little laugh. He didn't give me a chance to blush a second time as his lips attacked mine. Resting his bodyweight against me he trailed passionate kisses down my neck, dragging his teeth over my skin as he hit my collarbone. I ran my hands down his back and slipped them into his boxers, squeezing his arse, relishing the feel of his skin against mine even if the leather jacket lessened that somewhat. James continued the exploration of my body with his lips, pulling aside the leather jacket enough to expose a breast and take my nipple in his mouth. I winced with pleasure and dragged my fingernails across the skin on his bum and lower back. In return he sucked harder on my nipple and tugged at it with his lips before letting go. Inching a little further down the bed he nuzzled and kissed my stomach as his hands slid to my panties and began pulling them down. More than willingly I raised my hips a little to help him get them off. Once they were gone I impatiently pulled James back up the bed and tugged at his boxers, fighting to get them off. All my previous thoughts of being slow and teasing were gone now, I wanted him and I wanted him now. James helped me with the boxers then came to rest on top of me again.

«I want you so much,» I said, staring straight into his eyes. James had to swallow hard to find his voice.

«I want you more,» he replied then leaned in to kiss me. Wet, soft lips pressed tenderly against mine and I felt James' tongue against my own. I was so focused on James' kiss that I hadn't noticed him slipping his hand between us to guide himself inside me.

«Oh, shit..!» The sensation of him pushing himself into me made me moan loudly against his mouth, partly out of surprise but mostly out of pleasure. James gave a low, strained groan and began moving his hips slowly. He buried his face against my neck as he worked into me, moaning a little with every thrust. I dug my fingertips into James' arse and breathed heavily in his ear. I was still wearing the leather jacket which was restricting my movements a little, but I didn't have a mind to take it off. James slowed his pace and raised himself on his arms a little to look down at me.

«This isn't going to last long...» he admitted breathlessly with an exasperated little shake of his head. «You've worked me up far too much..»

«I don't care, just don't stop..» I begged, burying my fingers in his hair and pulling his face down to mine, kissing him frantically. I wrapped a leg around his hip, using it to push him harder and deeper inside me. James swore and groaned against my mouth, thrusting faster into me. As our pleasure increased we lost the ability to kiss each other, all we could do was huff and moan against each others mouths, far too focused on grinding and thrusting, chasing pleasure. I buried my face against James' neck as I raised my hips to meet him as best I could, the pace ever increasing. James slipped an arm around my lower back, holding me close as he worked against me. «Oh god, James, fuck...» I winced, clutching at his back. The familiar, glowing itch in the pit of my stomach warned me that my body wanted to give over. «James, I'm close,» I gasped, my movements a little more erratic against him. These words seemed to spur James on and he thrust harder and faster into me. The increase in intensity made us both orgasm within seconds, bucking and shaking against each other to try and ride out our orgasm for as long as we could,. James collapsed on top of me and we slipped into our post-orgasmis bliss, our breathing and heartbeats slowly returning to normal. Lazily I ran my fingers down his spine. When he had regained the strength and breath for it, James raised himself up on his arms and looked at me.

«I never got so far as taking that jacket off you...» he said, a little apologetic.

«I suspect you secretly wanted me to keep it on,» I retorted mildly. James blushed a little and blinked a few times, smiling embarrassedly.

«Yes, I did actually,» he admitted.

«I really didn't mind,» I said reassuringly. James moved so that he sat beside me and held out his arms for me, motioning for me to sit up.

«Here,» he said mildly, taking the leather jacket off me and tossing it on the floor. The loss of its warmth, and James', instantly made me shiver. James saw and pulled the duvet over me as I laid back down, resting against the pillow. Lying on his side next to me James draped a leg over mine and wrapped his arm around me, then leaned down to kiss my mouth softly. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of James kissing me and gently brushing his nose against my cheek. After a long, blissful silence I opened my eyes lazily to look at James, only to find him looking back at me. The look in his eyes was full of emotions, but I couldn't quite figure out what kind.

«You all right, sweetie?» I asked, running my hand through his hair and tucking a strand behind his ear. He smiled and nodded weakly.

«I'm so much more than all right,» he said with a sigh, his voice full of meaning. I raised my eyebrows a little at him. James raised himself up on one elbow and looked intently at me, caressing my cheek with his thumb. «My happiest memory will always be the first time our eyes met. The first time you touched my hand. Because then, I just knew that it was you.»

«Me..?» I asked a little stupidly.

«I knew that you were going to change my entire existence, and that I was never going to let you out of my life ever again. I know I don't say this often enough, but... I have never been in love with anyone the way I am in love with you. And I have never loved anyone as deeply as I love you. You mean everything to me.» When I tried to speak my voice came out in a choked squeak, my throat constricted by a rapidly growing lump as emotions were welling up inside me. But amidst all the feelings I couldn't help but notice the seriousness of the situation.

«James..? Are you practicing your wedding speech or something?» I asked, smiling widely even though my eyes were brimming with tears.

«Is this good? Should I write this stuff down?» James asked, looking around as if he was looking for a pen and paper.

«Yes. Yes you should,» I nodded fervently and giggled happily, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. «Everything you just said to me... I feel exactly the same way. I love you,» I smiled then kissed him as tenderly and lovingly as I could, trying to express with my lips and my body what I wasn't able express as eloquently as James just had done.

«Hammond is right, you know. Normally that.. 'honeymoon period' probably would have been over by now. But with you... I'm just as besotted with you now as I was on New Year's Eve. And kissing you still gives me the same, indescribable feeling as it did the first time I kissed you.» My bottom lip began wobbling dangerously again. I looked deeply into his eyes, completely taken by the moment, by James' words and the sincerity and emotions behind them.

«I don't know what to say...» I sniffed. «Except that I'm bonkers about you, and love you with everything I have.»

Chapter 41

 The minute I turned the corner I spotted James and Richard. Since I was driving at such a low speed I was worried I was going to lose balance and fall of the bike, especially now that I knew they were watching me. James took my breath away where he stood leaning against his motorcycle with his leathers on, jacket zipped open with a white t-shirt underneath. He took his aviators on as I approached, and his eyes were staring a hole through me, curiosity written all over his face. Could he recognize me just from my shape? My visor was tinted so he wouldn't be able recognize me until I took my helmet off. My stomach did a violent lurch of anxiety and my heart was pounding in my ears, the sound made many times louder by the fact that I had a helmet on. I breathed a sigh of relief when I managed to come to a somewhat controlled and dignified halt in front of the two men. Kicking the side-stand down I leaned the bike on it, waved quickly at the men then dismounted. Richard waved back, but James just kept staring, arms hanging limply down his sides. I took three deliberate steps towards James and stopped right in front of him, then I took off my gloves and popped open the chin-strap on my helmet. A thousand butterflies were panicking in my stomach and I could hardly breathe, but I found myself smiling from ear to ear within the depths of the helmet. I held my breath as I took my helmet off. James' face fell comically and his eyes widened as he struggled for a few seconds to come to grips with what he was seeing. His eyes went from me to the helmet I was holding, then to the bike I had driven and finally to Richard before they fell back on me. James looked like he was the personification of the term 'gobsmacked'.

«Hello, handsome,» I said with a happy smile, wanting to spur James into speech.

«Emily...» he said weakly, with a hint of a question mark at the end.

«Captain slow strikes again, I see,» I said mildly. I took another step towards James and placed my hand on his chest, the cotton on his t-shirt warm from the heat of the sun. «Say something?» I asked, raising an eyebrow and biting my lip. He looked down at the hand resting on his chest, then up at me again. Everything seemed to go in slow-motion for him.

«You got your license..?» He said, and now there was a trace of a smile on his lips.

«Finally he's catching up!» Richard exclaimed in the background. I barely registered him, all that existed was James. We'd only been apart for a day, not even that, and still it felt like such an amazing relief to be near him again.

«Yes!» I nodded eagerly, grinning widely up at him. «I've been taking lessons in secret all summer, took the final test on Wednesday!» James's face finally broke out into a wide smile.

«But that's... that's great!» He said loudly.

«You think?» I asked, biting my lip again. I needed reassurance, having been worried that James would somehow not like it.

«Of course I do!» He said with a smile. «Congratulations, sweetie.» Disregarding the crowd of oogling onlookers, James cupped my cheek with his hand and gave me lingering kiss. When he let me go he looked at Richard with an eyebrow raised accusatorily.

«I wanted to surprise you, so I recruited Richard,» I cut in before James had the chance to start on Richard. «Don't blame him, he's been nothing but helpful, he borrowed me a bike and got you to come up here. I stayed at theirs last night, met Mindy and the kids and all the dogs. I'm sorry that I had to tell a little white lie and say I was going to Brighton, I just needed a plausible cover-story...» I said, batting my eyelids at him in an effort to look innocent like Bambi.

«Actually I prefer the thought of you having spent a night with the Hammonds then a drunken girl's night in Brighton,» he added.

«When on earth did you become so jealous?» I said, pulling him in for another quick kiss by tugging on his unzipped jacket.

«I don't know, but I'm sure it's all your fault,» he smiled, then took a step back to eye me up and down. «New gear?»
«Yeah, I went on a wee shopping spree...» I admitted. «But I held off buying a bike, I thought I'd ask your help for that.»

«For what it's worth, I'm sold on a Triumph already, you look bloody good on it,» he said with a flirty smile. From behind a heard the clearing of a throat.

«If you two are quite finished gushing over each other, can we get this show on the road?» Richard cut in and handed me my starting number. «Slap that on the bike and that one on yourself, then lets go.» We geared up, got our numbers on and headed for the start-line. The race was starting in fifteen minutes, but most of the bikers had queued up already and were busy chatting to each other and smoking, straddling their bikes. James and Richard were quickly recognized and pulled a crowd. I was getting used to this now, that people came over to say hello and have a chat and maybe even a photo. And mostly I didn't mind, people were nice, polite and funny. The wait flew by, and suddenly the mass of motorcycles started moving, but slowly. The low speed and sheer amount of bikes made me have to concentrate hard, keeping an eye on the bikers around me as well as keeping my balance. Eventually the line spaced out, some people set off at high speeds while others, like us, thought of this race as a nice weekend drive and went easy. The 'course' they'd set up took about an hour and a half, and was mostly on country roads. Having James around made me nervous and self-conscious again, I was extra worried I'd do something stupid or maybe even dangerous. I wanted to be good at it, and I wanted him to think I was good at it. Eventually I managed to settle down and relax enough to enjoy the sunshine and the fact that I was on a motorcycle. The Triumph was a joy to drive, a whole world away from the dreary ones I'd had at driving school.

Before I knew it we re-entered Ross-on-wye and crossed the finish line, which was the same as the start line. Richard came to a halt and so did James and I. He looked at us and shouted over the din of the engines. «Food! I'm starving! Follow me!» We followed him to a pizza place and parked. The town had quieted down a little and miraculously we got a table. It was a relief to get out of the helmet and the leather jacket, and I sank down into a booth with a happy sigh. We quickly ordered our food and Richard disappeared out for a cigarette and to ring Mindy. James sank down beside me and looked at me pointedly.

«Hello, sweetie,» he said and kissed me. I smiled back at him and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

«You're all right with me having gotten my license, right? I mean, just because I have, that doesn't mean I'll always have to come with you, if you want to go just with your mates I completely underst--» James raised his hand to cut me off.

«Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? I think it's amazing... And I think you're amazing,» he said with a smile, cupped my face in his hands and gave me a long, deep kiss, completely disregarding the crowded restauraunt. When he spoke he seemed happy and sincere. He kept his arm around me, hand resting on my lower back, and I relished the contact. «We should go on a motorcycle holiday sometime, just you and me. I've been thinking about it all during the race, which countries we could go to, where they have good roads or places to see.»

«That sounds amazing, I'd like that,» I smiled back. James leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice a little so only I could hear.

«You look so bloody good driving that,» James said as he briefly looked out through the window at the Triumph. «It's been very difficult to keep my eyes on the road. I thought having you on the back of my own bike was sexy, but watching you ride on your own is much, much better.» His hand was still on the small of my back, and as he spoke he slipped it underneath my t-shirt to caress the skin lightly with his fingertips. «Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to have an erection in leather trousers?» His voice was almost a whisper. I swallowed hard, partly out of arousal and partly out of nerves. I quickly looked around, making sure no one could have heard what he said. His words had also made me all hot and bothered, his compliments always did and now he was even turning me on.

«No, I don't know how that feels...» I said with a little smirk. «I bet it's torture,» I added with a carless flick of my shoulders. He shook his head a little at me, knowing I was just teasing.

«You're coming home with me tonight, right? You're not staying at Hammonds?» He asked, his eyes full of meaning. I had to swallow again in an attempt to find my voice, but all I managed was a nod and a hum of confirmation.

«Good,» he sighed and closed the small gap between us to kiss me again. Suddenly feeling in a teasing mood I placed my hand on his knee and slid it up his thigh as I returned his kiss, and I felt his sharp intake of breath against my lips.

«Oh for the love of... Get a room, will you?» Richard had returned from his phonecall to find us kissing like a pair of lovesick teenagers. «You've been together for what, eight months now? Shouldn't your honeymoon period be over soon?» He said a little irritably as he fell down into his seat and lunged for his glass of coke. I hadn't even noticed that the waiter had come over with our drinks. I giggled and hid my red face against James' shoulder, taking in the smell of him.

«Don't mind him, he's just a jealous, angry little man,» James said and gave me a little squeeze. Just as Richard opened his mouth to argue back the pizzas arrived to distract him. I gave James' thigh one last, teasing squeeze before removing my hand. He gave me a warning look and I rolled my eyes innocently back at him.

After we'd finished our dinner I bade farewell to James again for a little while. He was going back to London on his motorcycle, stopping by at his sister on the way. I was going back to Richard's to return his bike before I headed home in the Panda. Having returned the bike I spent a few minutes cuddling the dogs before packing the car. Before leaving I thanked Richard heartily for lending me his bike and for all his help. I gave him a long, grateful hug and promised to come back to visit and to come play with Richard's quad bikes. Privately I was anxious to get home. James' words and his gentle touch on my back had put me in a right state. All I could think of was James, his smell, his skin, his hands, the way he touched me and kissed me. 

Chapter 40

Little did James know that I had a surprise of my own. Next wednesday, when he went off to Guildford to record the studio bits for another Top Gear episode, I went off to take my final motorcycle driving test. To my immense relief and joy I passed, and immediately went off to treat myself to my very own Dainese motorcycle jacket and trousers, along with a helmet, gloves and boots. The bike itself would have to wait, I needed James' help to find out what bike I should get. Giddy with excitement I waited for the time when the shoot would normally be wrapped up and the guys would be on their way home. Not because I wanted to call James, but Richard.
«Hello?»
«Hi, it's me, Emily! Are you on your way home?»
«Ems! Yeah, I'm in my car, shoot finished half an hour --- You're aware you've called me, now, right, not James?» He asked, cutting himself off. I heard the swoosh and roar of distant traffic in the background.
«Of course,» I said with a chuckle. «It's you I wanted to talk to, actually. I wanted to ask you for a favour.»
«A favour? Oooh, I'm curious now!»
«Well, I want to surprise James, and I might need some help with it...» I continued vaguely.
«Surprise? For James? Okay, what do you need me to do? Take some photos of you in your underwear? Do a nude painting?» I couldn't help but giggle at Richard's eagerness and his harmless flirting, he'd always been that way and would always be.
«Calm down, hamster,» I said, pretending to be stern. «It's nothing like that.»
«Aaw,» Richard said, acting disappointed. But he rallied quickly. «What is it, then?»
«Well, I've been taking motorcycle lessons all summer without James knowing it, and I just got my license today,» I began explaining.
«You did? Wooow, congratulations! That's so cool, James will love that!» Richard said enthusiastically.
«Thank you!» I said, smiling stupidly at myself, being a little proud and happy to be done with it.
«James really has no idea?» Richard asked.
«No, I don't think so. I took most of my lessons when he was really busy with Man Lab... He asked me why I had never gotten a license when we went for a bike-ride once, but that was nearly three months ago, I doubt he even remembers.»
«Ooh, this is great!» Richard exclaimed, and I could hear the glee in his voice over the phone. There was a little silence. «How about we... humm.... I might have an idea, actually!»
«Really? That's great, because I don't!» I admitted. Richard made is suggestion, and we quickly made a plan for how we'd surprise James this coming weekend. Without even hesitating he agreed to lend me a motorcycle, saying he had complete faith in me and my driving abilities. «Great. Thank you so much, Richard! I'm excited now!»
«So am I! This'll be fun! Talk you you later!» We said our goodbyes and I did a mad little jig around the kitchen. I had called Richard just to check if he had any ideas, I hadn't expected such a level of eagerness and so much help from him. But he genuinely seemed excited about the idea, and now I was too and couldn't wait to see James' reaction in a few days. I busied myself with making food, having promised James to make some dinner for when he got back from the studio. James was normally the one who cooked in this household, or we did it together. I just wanted to do something nice for him. So I'd searched around for something to make, and thinking I wanted to try something I'd never made before I ended up with a recipe for chicken pie.

An hour later I vaguely heard James' voice and the slam of the front door over the music in the kitchen.
«In here!» I called out, trying to tidy up the mess I had made while making dinner. James appeared in the kitchen doorway looking a little tired, but happy to be home.
«Something smells good!» He said happily. With a smile he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss.
«Always the tone of surprise,» I said and rolled my eyes at him, then returned his kiss. «Chicken pie. Ready in 5 minutes.» James disappeared upstairs to get all the make-up from the shoot off his face, then we sat down to our dinner and our wine.
«You know, that whole excuse of 'oh I can't cook' isn't going to work anymore, because you just proved you can if you want to!» James said, pointing at me with his fork. «This is good!» he added, humming happily.
«And cooking for someone you love makes it more fun,» I said, and found myself blushing a little. James smiled happily and we ate in silence for a bit. Internally I was struggling, almost bouncing in my chair, I wanted so badly to tell James about passing and getting my license. But I had decided to make it a surprise, now I had to stick with it.
«Oh by the way, Hammond asked if I wanted to come on this motorcycle charity thing this Saturday,» James said as he put down his knife and fork. «It's up in Hereford somewhere.»
«Really? That sounds fun?» I offered, trying to sound convincingly surprised.
«Yeah, it would be fun» he conceded. «I haven't been on a motorcycle ride with Hammond for ages. I just wanted to check what your plans for the weekend are?» James looked straight at me, and I struggle to keep a straight face.
«Well, Cathy asked me today if I wanted to come down to Brighton for the weekend, they have a place down there... You know, girl's trip, shopping and girly cocktails,» I lied. I didn't like lying to James, it went against all my instincts, but this was for a good cause. «I haven't seen Cathy much after I started the new job.» On the inside I was giggling madly. I had called Cathy earlier, just to check if it was all right with her that I used her as a cover-story, and she was. «So, boy's weekend for you and girl's weekend for me, then?» I smirked. James nodded his approval.
«If you'll be gone all weekend there's no point in me sitting around here. Hammond would just be offended,» he observed. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief as the first part of our plan had gone well

Two days later, on Friday afternoon, I was running around the house packing, getting ready to leave. James had lent me the Panda as per usual, and I was getting oddly attached to that stupid little car.
«James! I'm done packing, I'll be leaving any minute!» I called through the house, James was writing on his computer in the study. I stuffed my wallet, phone and keys into a handbag, mentally checking that I had everything, then put my shoes on. James entered the hallway, looking from the bag by the door and over to me with a forlorn expression. «Aw, what's wrong?» I asked, taking a few steps towards him. James leaned his forehead against mine, sighing heavily. His hands were rubbing my hips slowly.
«Don't go,» he asked quietly. «I don't want to be here without you. I hate being in this house alone,» he added sulkily.
«Oh, James...» I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, caressing his neck. «Imagine how it's like for me every time you go away for work?» I reminded him, but not unkindly.
«I know, I don't know how you do it,» he said, still sulking.
«It's just for a few nights,» I soothed. «You'll have fun, and I'll have fun. And we'll see each other in a few days.» On the inside I was giggling again, knowing James would see me far sooner than he thought. «And in little over a week you and I are going to Bali, and it'll be just the two of us for two long, amazing weeks.» At this James smiled a little despite himself, then sighed again.
«I know, you're right,» he said, and gave my nose a kiss. «Have fun, yeah? But not too much fun. Don't... attract any men,» he added vaguely. James wasn't really the jealous kind, but then again he was often with me if I went to the pub or out to party and really didn't have any cause to be. But now he thought I was going to Brighton for a fun night out with a female friend, and part of him didn't like the scenario.
«James, this is Brighton. If I'll attract anything, it'll be some militant lesbian.» He chuckled a little despite himself.
«Don't mess around with them either!» He warned.
«I'm done with my experimental phase, love. I'll call when I get down there,» I promised. «Be careful on the bike ride, okay?» James nodded and pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss.
«I love you,» he said, his voice full of emotions.
«I love you more,» I said with a smile. James stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched me sadly as I pulled on my jacket and picked my bag and handbag off the floor. He followed me to the door and leaned against the frame with his hands still in his pockets. «You look like the most miserable spaniel that ever lived,» I observed, failing to hide back a smirk. He reminded me of what my dog back home used to do when she'd figured out I was leaving the house, which was to lie down on the sofa with her head between her front paws and look at me with sad puppy eyes.
«I miss you already,» he said, his voice sulky and sad again. I stepped close to him and rubbed my nose against his.
«You are such a soppy git!» I said with a little smile and kissed him. His unwillingness to let me go made me feel loved and needed, but I couldn't help but smile a little at his childish sulking all the same. If James and I had spent a few days apart it was always James who went away somewhere for work, so this was a departure from tradition. James wasn't used to being the one left home alone, I was always home whenever he was. «See you before you know it,» I whispered before resolutely marching away from him and heading for the Panda.

Driving out of London I headed west, and not south like I had told James. First I stopped by the place where I had bought my motorcycle gear, having agreed to pick it up right before closing time that day. As instructed I called Hammond when I had passed Gloucester, and he gave me directions on how to find his place. Driving up to the house I felt my jaw drop. The idiot did actually live in an honest-to-god castle. The front door opened and four dogs bounded out, barking happily, followed by Hammond.
«Oy! Behave! No jumping!» Richard tried marshalling his dogs, but the minute I got out of the car they were all over me, fighting to be the first to greet me and get some attention. «I'm sorry, they have no manners,» he apologised.
«Like owner, like dog,» I laughed, trying to greet four dogs at once. I crooned stupidly at them, saying hello and telling them how cute they were. «Aw, I miss having dogs,» I sighed, looking up at Hammond.
«You're living with a spaniel!» Richard said, his eyes twinkling.
«Ha-ha.» I got up, still surrounded by wagging tails and happily panting dogs. «Richard, you do actually live in a castle.»
«Yes! Yes I do! Welcome!» He said, stretching his arms out and pulling me in for a quick hug. He picked my bag up from the ground and gestured towards the door. «Come on, get inside. Mindy is waiting, she's excited about seeing you again!» I followed Richard and the pack of dogs inside. The house smelled of food, and Mindy was busy in the kitchen making dinner. She squealed and gave me a big hug and a glass of wine.
«Emily! Oh my gooood! Long time, no see!» She grinned, almost forgetting to stir around in pots and pans.
«I know! What has it been, 8 months or so?» I replied and had a sip of my wine.
«Christmas party, so yes, something like that! Not that strange though, you've had quite the year so far, from what I've heard,» she said airily.
«Yeah, there's been a lot of... stuff going on,» I admitted, looking into my glass of wine.
«I'd say! But thank god you and James finally got your thumbs out of your arses and got together!» She said loudly. I nearly choked on my wine and let out a loud laugh.
«Oh god, Jezza said the same thing. Was it really that obvious?!»
«Heavens, yes! You two had hearts in your eyes and fat little, naked cupids flying around your heads every time you looked at each other!» She giggled. After that we chattered non-stop, eventually boring Richard out of the kitchen entirely. Right before dinner their girls Izzy and Willow made their appearance and greeted me politely. They were so adorable and sweet it could make your teeth rot instantly. Eventually we all sat down for a lovely, but loud dinner. Mealtimes at the Hammond familiy houseshold was the exact opposite to what mealtimes was at home. Our dinners were calm and quiet, we chatted and laughed but this was just chaos in comparions. But fun chaos. The two girls were loud and silly, having fun with their daddy, the pack of dogs were constantly circling the table, trying to charm someone into dropping food. Meanwhile, Mindy and I were trying to keep up a conversation. It reminded me of family dinners back home in Norway with my siblings, nieces and nephews. After dinner Mindy played games with the kids while Richard and I tidied up the kitchen, chatting about what type of motorcycle I could get. Suddenly remembering I had forgotten to call James I ran outside and called him quickly, apologising a lot. James sounded a little more cheerful then when I had left, Colin had come over and they were having a few beers. I told him I loved him and we said our goodbyes. When the kids had gone to bed the house got a little more quiet. The three of us sat down with a glass of wine and chatted until midnight. Mindy and Richard were great fun to be with, easy-going and funny, and I made a mental note that James and I should spend more time with them.

The next morning I was awoken by someone gently shaking my foot. Opening my eyes I was surprised to see Richard by the foot of the bed in the guest-room, clad in a tight, white v-neck t-shirt and plaid pyjama bottoms. His hair was a little on end and the thought of how good he looked flitted through my subconscious. For a vague moment I wondered if I was having a dream about Richard I shouldn't be having.
«Oh thank god, I thought you'd died!» He burst out with relief. «Sorry, I tried knocking.»
«Muh? Oh, morning Richard,» I muttered, then yawned widely.
«Coffee and breakfast in five minutes! The girls have already gone, shopping and then off to Mindy's parents,» he waved and disappeared out of the room. To clear my thoughts I shook my head vigorously, then got out of bed and padded downstairs in just my pyjama bottoms. As I entered the kitchen I was eagerly met by the pack of dogs again, all greeting me happily. I spent a few minutes on the kitchen floor, letting myself be overwhelmed by them for a little, then I helped Richard make breakfast. A little later we settled down with omelet, toast and coffee. «Good weather for a ride!» Richard observed, looking out at the blue skies dotted with clouds.
«Yeah...» I nodded and smiled. «Should be great.» After ten minutes of me silently playing with my food, not really eating much, Richard decided he'd had enough.
«Awful quiet we are today? Nervous?» He raised his eyebrows quizzically.
«Well I.. yeah, a little,» I conceded, squirming a little in my chair.
«Why?»
«I'm nervous I'll crash your bike,» I muttered.
«Oh, don't be. And if you DO crash, I wouldn't worry about the bike, after all it's just a thing, I'd be far more worried about you! So I'd prefer if you didn't crash, but that isn't because I'm concerned about a stupid heap of metal,» Richard waved, having a sip of his coffee.
«I'll try not to,» I said with a reassuring little smile. «I'm nervous about the surprise, too. Excited, but nervous. I mean, what if he doesn't like it? If he gets... I don't know, angry or doesn't like that I've kept it a secret or-» Richard cut me off.
«Oh stop being silly, Emily! Of course he'll like it, and he definitely won't be angry! Why would he?»
«Well, I...» I wrung my hands, not knowing the answer.
«See, you're just fussing for no reason whatsoever,» Richard said firmly. «He's talked about you getting a license, right? I think it's a great surprise, and if he finds any reason to be a tosspot about it then I'll.. I'll kick his bike over!» I laughed at the angry, little Brummie working himself up, and instantly felt a little better. He was right, I was fussing for no reason. After breakfast we both retreated to our respective bathrooms and had quick showers, getting ready to go out.
«Emily! Grab your kit and come outside when you're done, I'll be in the shed!» I heard Richard's voice as he passed the guest room I was staying in. My new gear was in the backseat of the Panda, and I quickly got into the leather trousers and boots, feeling giddy and nervous. It would be my first motorcycle ride completely on my own. I slipped my jacket on but kept it open, tucked my helmet under my arm and headed for what Richard referred to as 'the shed'. It was more like a huge storage building, filled with cars and bikes. Having heard my footsteps Richard popped up from behind a bike he'd been fiddling with. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but he froze, staring at me.
«What?!» I asked, a little panic-stricken. «Did I put something on wrong? Did I forget something?!» I looked down, seeing my open leather jacket, my plain top and the biker pants, everything seemed to be in the right way.
«Nothing, just... James is a lucky man,» Richard said airily, but couldn't quite stop himself from eyeing me up and down a few times. He gave a random shrug with his shoulders and I could have sworn I saw the hint of a blush on him. A number of responses flitted through my head, I even contemplated flirting just as outrageously back at him. Mindy was a lucky woman; Richard was handsome, funny, great with his kids and a huge animal-person.
«Well... I'm a lucky woman,» I said. I thought of James, everything he meant to me and how we were as a couple. I imagined him smiling lovingly at me, the way his eyes crinkled when he luaghed, or how he kissed me. A wave of love and adoration washed over me, making me blush and smile a little at myself.
«You two really love each other,» Richard observed, having seen how my expression changed as I thought of James.
«I can't speak for him, but... I do, at least. Very much,» I admitted. Clearing my throat I looked pointedly around at the array of bikes, cars and other vehicles in the huge building. «Bloody hell, Richard...!»
«I know, it's ridiculous,» he waved, sounding like he'd heard it a million times before. «It's obscene, I know, and I don't need them all. But I love them,» he said stubbornly. «Now, lets find you a bike!» Richard milled around a little, eyeing his collection of bikes, and in the end he chose a black Triumph Bonneville. It was jet black and looked like a classic, British motorcycle, and I fell in love immediately. Richard picked up a Kawasaki for himself and then we set off for a trial run.

I was terrified at first. Suddenly I didn't have anyone watching over me which felt asburd, there was no instructor that I could talk through via bluetooth and I felt abandoned. How could someone be so apocalyptically stupid as to allow me to drive around on my own on one of these? Soon I realised that this was a little different, and far less stressful than riding in and around London. This was pure country roads, quiet and gorgeous, and I felt myself relaxing and settling down, just enjoying the thrill of driving on my own. Richard and I pottered around Hereford for three quarters of an hour, doing a loop that ended up back at his house.
«You ride like a pro!» Richard said as he took off his helmet.
«You look relieved...» I teased from where I sat straddling the bike, raising an eyebrow at him.
«All right, I might have expected it to not go quite that well,» he conceded with a shrug of his shoulders.
«Um.. Thank you, I think,» I said as I set down the sidestand and climbed off the bike. Richard checked his watch, then sparked up a cigarette, going over our plan one last time. Feeling the stress-levels rise in me instantly I bummed a cigarette and puffed like crazy while I went over the plan with him. A little later I saw the back of Richard's bike disappearing into the distance, and I looked at my phone to check the time. Ten minutes. Then I'd be off.

The little town centre of Ross-on-Wye was incredibly crowded. Richard wondered if all the motorcyclists in western England had shown up, he'd never seen the town so packed with people. Then again, far from everyone was wearing bike-gear, many people were around just to watch bikes and see the kerfuffle. The fact that Richard had announced on Twitter that he and James would be attending probably hadn't helped matters. He hunted down the registration office and signed himself and Emily in, getting their start-numbers to attach on the bikes and on themselves. Then he rang up James who was already in town, and told him to meet him by the station, which was close to the starting line. To his surprise James got there before him. When Richard arrived he was leaning against his bike, having a cigarette in the sunshine.
«Hello, mate!» Richard said as his bike came to a halt and he took off his helmet.
«Hammond!» James replied. «Bloody hell, this place is packed,» he added. A group of onlookers were already gathering around them, but at a polite distance for now. They were staring just as much at the TV-presenters as their bikes. Some were looking around suspiciously, as if they expected to see the camera crew appearing any minute.
«Yeah, putting on Twitter that we were doing this might not have been the best idea,» Richard muttered through the corner of his mouth.
«You pillock!» James sighed.
«Yes, yes, whatever, they can't all follow us around when we set off anyway,» Richard said carelessly. «By the way, I have a mate coming with us.»
«Mate? Anyone I know?» James said, frowning a little. He rifled through the index of Richard's friends that he'd met, trying to remember if any of them drove motorcycles.
«Yeah, you might know who she is,» he said, averting his eyes as he found it increasingly difficult to keep an entirely straight face.
«She?» James repeated, looking even more confused.
«Yes, it's a she. Shame on you for assuming it was a bloke,» Richard said and lit up a cigarette of his own. Leaning against his bike like James did he kept an eye on the road where Emily was most likely to appear. He heard and recognised the sound of the engine before he even spotted her. 'Good girl' he thought to himself as he straightened up and threw his fag-end on the ground, treading on it.
«Isn't that one of yours?» James observed as the bike with the, to him, unknown driver appeared around a corner.
«Yeah, she's borrowing it, she hasn't bought one herself yet.»

Chapter 39

«Are we really going to stay in one of those bungalows on poles over the water?» I asked dreamily. My head was resting on James' chest and I fiddled absent-mindedly with the buttons on his shirt, dreaming myself away. The crying fit had left my head throbbing and I was exhausted. But I felt a little better, empty but in a good way, it really had been cathartic to just let it all out and allow myself fall to pieces for a little bit. The surprise of our trip to Bali already had me distracted from baby Emily as I lay there dreaming of the tropics.
«Mhm,» he hummed into my hair. "I remembered you talking about that once, how you wanted to stay in one of those one day."
«So you've already booked and sorted everything?»
«Yeah. Well, not quite, Fiona did most of it, I just told her what we wanted and she did most of the research.» Fiona was James' manager, and the one to call whenever I needed to figure out something about James' schedule, because he rarely had a complete overview. She was also responsible for sorting out a lot of his travel arrangements; flights, hotels, booking drivers. She knew James, and knew what he liked. “She's sent me tonnes of info on things we can do, on diving classes, places to see, where to eat, all that stuff.»
«I can't wait to go,» I said, looking up at James with a smile.
«It's so nice to see you're smiling. Seeing you cry breaks my heart,» James said, looking at me with a trace of worry in his eyes.
«You're the reason I'm smiling.»
«Right now I suspect Bali is the reason you're smiling,» he chuckled.
«Weeeell, sort of,» I admitted and rested back down against him. «But it's the thought of going there with you,» I added pointedly. «Having you all to myself, just relax and have fun together. Blue skies, blue ocean, white perfect beaches, a book or three... It's going to be perfect!»
«I thought it was about bloody time we went somewhere nice, had a proper romantic holiday,» James said. «We've talked about it for ages.»
«We had our road trip, though...» I pointed out, smirking a little at the memory.
«But that was over seven months ago! And come on, it was five days and as fun as it was, it wasn't the most relaxing of holidays...» James argued.
«I see your point. I've never had so much sex in my life as I did that week!»
«We're still having lots of sex on Bali,» James said, somewhere between a statement and a question.
«I've always wondered if it is possible to have sex in a hammock...» I mused.
«We should conduct an experiment on that.»
«If it goes horribly wrong we could possibly break both our backs. Or necks..»
«That is a risk I am perfectly willing to take.» We lay there on the bed talking excitedly about our trip until I fell asleep with my head on his chest, emotionally exhausted, but calm and happy.

When I woke up it was very early morning. James must have undressed me while I slept, I couldn't remember taking my clothes off and they were now hanging neatly over a chair. Hanging clothes neatly over chairs wasn't my sort of thing. Now James was sleeping next to me on his stomach, arms hugging a pillow. His hair was a little on end, he had a bit of a stubble and his mouth was slightly open. With a drowsy sigh I inched up to him, wrapping a leg over his and draped my arm across his back, feeling his warm, soft skin. He didn't stir. For a while I was unable to do anything but lie there and stare at him, smiling to myself at how creepy James would've thought it was if he'd known I watched him in his sleep. Lazily I let my fingers slide over his back, playing over his skin. The feel of his warmth, his body close to mine, his skin under my fingers was enough to make my heart beat faster. James and I had been together for over seven months, and still it didn't take more to make me want him madly. I inched up even closer to him, almost pressing my body against the side of his. Gently I brushed my lips over the skin on his upper arm, trailing kisses up along his shoulder and jaw. He gave that sigh which I knew meant he was waking up.
«Morning, baby...» I said in a low whisper against his neck. My fingers were still trailing lazily over his back.
«Morning...» He mumbled into his pillow, not moving and not opening his eyes.
«Sleep well?» I nibbled his earlobe and smiled mischievously to myself as I let my hand slip down his back and into his boxer, squeezing his arse.
«I was, until a very grabby woman woke me up.» He was still mumbling into his pillow, eyes closed. It was impossible to distinguish if his voice was a little annoyed or just acting.
«I'm sorry, I'm just a bit... horny...» I breathed seductively into his ear, squeezed his arse again and pressed my pubic bone against him, almost grinding against his hip.
«I've heard cold showers are supposed to help,» he said, sounding utterly disinterested and very sleepy. Partly I suspected he was playing a game, playing hard to get, wanting me to beg for it. I could picture the smirk he was hiding into his pillow. But I wasn't a hundred percent sure.
«Fine, I'll just please myself, then...» I huffed into his ear and tugged a little harder than normal on his earlobe with my teeth before letting go. I gave his arse a final squeeze and slipped my hand out of his boxers, rolling away from him.
«Good luck with that...» he mumbled, still lying perfectly still. If he was playing hard to get he was doing it infuriatingly well. But I wasn't going to let him win this one. With a sigh that was a little louder than it had to be, I rested back against my own pillow and kicked my covers aside. Raising my bum a little from the mattress I slid my knickers off and threw them on the floor. I threw one last, quick glance at James, he still hadn't moved or opened his eyes, but I could hear from his breathing that he hadn't fallen back asleep yet. With another little sigh I trailed my hand over my own body, across my neck and breast, over my stomach and my hips. I spread my legs and bent my knees, feeling the cool air as it hit my warmth. I closed my eyes as I let my fingers trail over my labia, feeling the wetness beneath my fingertips. I bit my lip and let a little sigh of pleasure escape me as my fingertip grazed over my sensitive clit. This was a game I had set out to win. Watching me touch and pleasure myself was something that drove James crazy, I'd done this before. The little moans and winces I made was meant to get James' attention. I tried to listen for any signs that James was still awake, or watching, but it was hard to keep focus, my own fingers circling my clit was a major distraction. Knowing that James was probably listening intently, maybe even watching me, just made me more aroused. I squirmed and spread my legs a little wider, giving another low moan of pleasure. I bit back a victorious smirk when I heard and felt James shift on the bed next to me. I didn't open my eyes to look at him, or stop what I was doing. It was his turn to be ignored. Tilting my head back I dug the back of my head into the pillow, biting my lip again as the pleasure increased even more. I really was getting very turned on. My free hand let go of the sheets I had been clutching and found my breast, kneading it roughly. My breathing quickened as I raised my hips a little against my own hand, increasing the pressure on my clit. I nearly squawked with surprise when I without warning felt a mouth close around the other nipple. James' hand pushed my hand roughly out of the way and his fingers took over rubbing my clit.
«I thought you.. wanted to... sleep?» I panted, trying to sound innocent. James' mouth sucked hard on my nipple before letting it go, then made its way up my chest and shoulder, kissing and licking my skin.
«It's impossible to sleep in this racket,» he muttered back, pretending to be annoyed. Blindly his mouth found mine and he kissed me hungrily, revealing that he wasn't annoyed at all. I sucked at his bottom lip, burying my hand in his hair to hold his face close. The hand I had been using on myself found its way into James' boxers and I closed my fingers, still wet with my own juices, around his hard cock. He groaned into my mouth as he felt my hand close around him and began working on him. I wasn't slow or teasing, I had no mind for that anymore, I had worked myself up too much. His boxers were restricting my movements and I began tugging them off impatiently and James tried to help. Finally freed of his boxers his hand found my pussy again, this time sliding first one, then two fingers inside me. James obviously didn't have a mind for slow or teasing either. Knowing my body as well I did, maybe even better, his fingers curved slightly upwards and brushed against that spot which only he could find. A burning hot pleasure erupted somewhere deep inside me.
«Oh, fuck, good!» I swore passionately, arching my back and pushing my hips up against his hand. I felt his satisfied smirk against my neck, he'd found the 'J-spot' again, he knew exactly what he was doing to me and he was enjoying it immensely. The feeling of James' fingers against my sensitive spot made it feel like he touched the very center of my being, it was overwhelming and sent my body into overdrive. «James, fuck me,» I begged, hardly knowing what I said. James' hand disappeared from between my legs, I felt how wet his fingers were when he slid his hand up my thigh and over my hips.
«No,» he breathed resolutely. Before I knew what had happened James had grabbed hold of my hips, rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him. Supporting myself on my arms I looked down at him, a little surprised to find myself on all fours over him.
«No?» I repeated breathlessly, a little disappointed. He entangled both his hands into my hair and pulled my face down towards his. Instead of kissing my mouth his lips made contact with the sensitive spot beneath my ear and he licked it, breathing heavily into my ear as he spoke.
«No. You fuck me,» he commanded, raising his hips and pressing his hard cock against my wet pussy. My body flushed hot with his words and it pushed everything out of my mind except my desire to do what he said. But I also wanted to tease him, remind him who was in charge – I had won this game and he needed to be reminded. I sat up straight, straddling James' hips and grinded down against him, making him wet. His hard cock rubbed delightfully against my clit and I bit my lip, smiling at the pleasure. James huffed with pleasure and impatience, raising his hips up against me again in search for more friction. Arousal reaching boiling point I lifted my hips up a little and guided him inside me, letting out a moan of relief as I sank back down, feeling James fill me up.
«Oh god, you feel so fucking good...» James moaned. I supported myself with my arms on his chest, slowly rocking on him, building tension. His hands were digging into my hips, following my movements. We didn't have a habit of talking much when we were together, but listening to James turned me on even more, I loved hearing him voice his pleasure and what I was doing to him.
«You too....!» I winced, trying to hold back and resist the urge to move my hips faster. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back and lost myself in the pleasure. Blindly I found James' hands on my hips, interlacing my fingers with his. «Fuck, James....»
«You look so bloody sexy like that, I love watching you....» James huffed. «God, you're so perfect.» I opened my eyes to look at him. Still thrusting down on him I leaned forwards, supporting myself on my arms.
«Yeah? Even when I wake you up and beg you to fuck me?» I asked innocently and bit my lip, staring straight into his eyes.
«Fuck, yes,» he breathed and kissed me hungrily, sucking at my bottom lip then tugging at it with his teeth. I wanted more, I wanted him deeper inside me, so I sat up straight again, spreading my legs even more as I moved faster against him. James' fingers were digging hard into my hips. With eyes closed and my head tilted back, my hands found my own breasts, kneading them roughly as I rode him hard and fast. I rolled my nipples between my fingers, tugging a little at them, going by nothing but instinct and primal desires. «Jesus, Emily.. wait...» James huffed. I froze, throwing my eyes open to look at him. He seemed a little flustered. I leaned over him, cupping the side of his face with my hand.
«What, baby?» I whispered, giving him a peck on the nose before hovering over his mouth. Not being able to help it I began moving my hips again slowly.
«Watching you like that is just... too much,» he whispered against my lips, and I felt the hint of a smile. «And I don't want to just come yet...»
«Okay...» I whispered back, still hovering over his mouth. I gave control over to James, letting his hands on my hips decide my movements and the pace. He held me still, gyrating his hips up against me slowly, enabling us to just enjoy being connected. I cupped his face in my hand, looking into his eyes as I bit my lip and let out a little moan, showing him that this still felt amazing. I couldn't help but smile at him, loving the closeness and the slow, considerate pace. «This feel so.. good...» I said breathily. «Having you inside me feels so amazing.» My breathy whispers made the passion flare up in James again, he took my lips in a hungry, needy kiss, sucking on my top lip and then my bottom lip. I winced into his mouth as he pushed his hips a little harder up against me. Wrapping his arms tightly around my waist he flipped us over on the bed without breaking our kiss. I relaxed against the pillow, letting him stay in control. His wet lips slid across the skin on my neck and chest, finding a nipple again as he began thrusting a little harder into me. I felt his stubble against the thin, sensitive skin on my breast, and his hair as it brushed over my chest. Instinctively I arched my back, raising my chest up against his mouth as I buried my hands into his hair, enjoying everything he was doing to me. James slid an arm underneath me, wrapping it around my waist, holding me closer as he moved faster, breathing heavy now. I huffed and moaned without even being aware of it, wrapping my legs almost around his waist in an effort to force him deeper inside me. James slowed and looked at me with a smirk, then looking at my legs wrapped around his waist.
«How flexible are you, exactly?» He mused, looking up at me again.
«You're welcome to find out...» I said, returning the smirk. James hooked an arm under my knee and gently pushed my leg towards my body, in the end almost draping my leg over his shoulder.
«Very, apparently!» He said a little surprised. «Is it uncomfortable?» He asked, studying me a little. I shook my head and smiled at him.
«No, not at all.» I bent the other leg towards my own body and James draped that over his other shoulder.
«Jesus...» he muttered, looking at how I was nearly bent double underneath him. He moved his hips forward gently as he looked at me, pushing deeply into me. «You sure this is okay...?» he asked gently. I tossed my head back and bit my lip as he thrust into me, feeling him deeper than ever.
«Oh god, yes...!» I winced, digging my fingertips into his arse. James' movements were tentative at first, still a little worried that this position would be uncomfortable or painful for me. Lying like this under James made me feel completely enveloped by him, and as he pushed into me I felt him inside me in a way I hadn't quite felt before. When all James heard from me was groans and winces of pleasure he became a little more confident and thrust harder into me, quickly building in speed. The excitement and feel of a new position that obviously seemed to work for both of us made the intensity of pleasure rise quickly in both of us. This position made it hard to kiss James, my legs were in the way, but I craned my neck and managed to find his lips anyway and sucked on them desperately. James was working fast, and I felt how the orgasm was drawing ever nearer. Gasping incoherent words of ecstasy I clawed at James' arse, dragging my fingernails over his skin, clinging on to him as the orgasm built within me far quicker than I managed to keep up with. «Oh jesus...!» I managed to hiss in that millisecond of nothingness just as your body seizes up and gives over to a wave of bliss. Having been to caught up in my own pleasure I barely realised that James had given over to his own climax before me. When my legs stopped trembling and I managed to open my eyes again, James let go of my legs to let me straighten them again.
«That was a new one...» I panted, still out of breath.
«How in gods name did you become so flexible? That isn't natural, Emily!» He pointed out. «It's not a complaint, though! It's an observation!» He added hastily. That had become a catchprase of his.
«No idea,» I laughed. «It's nifty though, sex and a good stretch-out, all in one go!» James laughed and shook his head a little at me. «I liked that, though,» I added, cupping his face with my hands and kissing him softly.
«Me too,» he said when he had returned my kiss. «Apart from the fact that I was worried I would snap you in half,» he added.
«You didn't, and it felt amazing,» I smiled and kissed his cheek. «Sorry for waking you, though, I don't know what got over me. I just... had to have you.»
«Don't apologise,» James said mildly. «The day you can't be arsed waking me up for sex, that's the day I'm dreading! But I was tired, so I had to make you work a little for it,» he added with a victorious smirk.