Chapter 32

The phone rang once, then he picked up. I wasted no time and immediately started berating him, albeit a little teasingly.

«James! Where are you? You're lost, aren't you. You've lived in this city for how many years, and you still manage to get lost?! You said you were supposed to be home by now!» I said exasperatedly into the phone.

«No, you insufferable woman, I'm not lost,» he grumbled, and I could hear by the tone in his voice that he was not in the mood for me teasing him about having no sense of the direction. He sounded frustrated and annoyed. «Turn on the telly and you'll see why I'm not home yet.» In the background I could hear lots of different car-horns going off every now and again, it sounded like frustrated people stuck in a jam.

«What's going on?» I said, my voice a lot milder. I pinned the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I found the remote and turned on BBC News. «Traffic jam? Accident?»

«No, no...» He sighed. «Some idiot forgot their suitcase or something. Now all of Central London is on lockdown, the rozzers is convinced it's full of... nuclear warheads or the black plague. I'm stuck on Oxford Street, nearly at the corner of Hyde Park, total gridlock everywhere.» BBC News flickered into life, and words like «suspicious crate» and «possible terrorist attack» flashed across the screen.

«Oh god..» I sighed, somewhere halfway between exasperation and worry. «Where was this supposed suitcase of death, anyway?»

«Euston Station, I think.»

«And it's gridlocked all the way to Hyde Park?» I asked, a little shocked.

«They've shut down everything within the inner ring-road as far as I can tell,» he said with another heavy sigh. «I'm tempted to just leave the car and walk home, it would be faster!»

«Bloody hell, they must be scared out of their black bobby-pants,» I said, staring at the telly wide-eyed.

«I bet you anything it's just some plonker who decided to cause a bit of a faff and left the biggest suitcase he could find at a very busy station. When they get it open I bet it'll be full of.. pineapples or typewriters or worn-out workmans boots.» He was working himself into a rant and I chuckled a little at the mental image of a suitcase full of pineapples. Then I sighed heavily, becoming worried again.

«I really hope it's nothing..» I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, feeling anxious.

«I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll call you when things get moving again,» James offered and we said our goodbyes. He had been supposed to only be gone for a few hours, dropping off the motorcycle gear I had borrowed the previous day and then stopping by BBC to do some preparations for the first studio recording which was coming up on Wednesday. Now he'd been gone for three and a half hours. Typical, now that I had something to tell him. I stayed in the sofa, restlessly watching BBC News, waiting for something to happen. Half an hour later BBC announced that the «threat had been neutralized», which probably just meant that the suitcase had been opened and found to be full of someones mucky washing. Fifteen minutes later James called, letting me know traffic was moving again. It was nearly six pm when I finally heard James at the front door, taking off his shoes, depositing his keys on the table then walking in to the kitchen.

«James, come here would you? I need to talk to you!» I shouted. He appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, looking harrassed.

«Can it wait one minute? I've just been stuck in traffic for over two hours, I want a cup of tea..» He whined.

«Okay, but be quick,» I said, feeling giddy with childish excitement. It seemed like hours before James reappeared in the doorway, now carrying a mug of tea. Eagerly I patted the seat next to me.

«What on earth is going on?» He asked, smiling a little amused as he sat down in the sofa. I drew a deep breath, suddenly feeling a little nervous about what I was about to tell.

«I'm... not going to Africa,» I said decisively. James face fell comically, that was not what he had expected at all, allthough what he had expected I couldn't even begin to guess. We had talked about it before going to sleep the previous night, knowing I had to give either accept or decline the job offer the following day. I hadn't said anything definite, but the whole conversation had leaned towards me taking the plunge and accepting the job. Which was what James had expected me to do.

«You turned it down?» He asked, a little horrified. I just nodded warily, gauging James' reactions. «Oh, Em.. You didn't turn it down just because you thought that's what I wanted, did you? Because that would make me happy? Because that won't make you happy, you'll just regret it and end up.. hating me and hating yourself, and...» James voice trailed off as he saw me trying to wave him down, shaking my head vigorously.

«No no, it wasn't because of that,» I explained. «It was just.. this really strange thing. I was just about to pick up the phone and call Red Cross, thinking I was going to accept the job. And just as I touched my phone it started ringing. It was from Queen Charlotte and Chelsea hospital, I went there for an interview a few weeks ago. They wanted to offer me a job at the prematurity clinic,» I said, trying to keep a neutral voice.

«Wasn't that the one you really wanted?» James asked, getting a little excited now.

«Yes! I never thought I'd get offered that, not in a million years!»

«And..?!» James urged, having completely forgotten about his cup of tea.

«And I ...said yes. Right there, on the spot. Then I called and turned down the job in Rwanda.» Finally I could allow myself to smile a little, relieved that I had made a decision and followed it through. James stared at me, stunned and wide-eyed. «Say something?» I asked quietly.

«I.. don't know what to say!» James said. «I'm just.. gobsmacked! I mean, I...» He sighed, giving up.

«Are you worried that if you're too happy about this I'll get cross?» I asked knowingly.

«A little...» he conceded ashamedly. «I mean... When I said that I would support you if you decided to go, I truly meant that. I would've waited for you and everything. But... Are you sure you've made the right decision?» I looked into his eyes for a long while, seeing the concern and care that was in them. This wasn't just about us, about our relationship, he cared about my own happiness as much as his own.

«Yes, James, I'm sure. Queen Charlotte's is only a few miles from here. And I've always wanted to work at a ward like that. When I got that job offer, I just.. knew. I knew that this is where I'm supposed to be, with a job I like and the man I love.» I was grinning like a cheshire cat now, sensing how I really meant every word of what I was telling James. There were no more doubts left.

«So you're staying..?» James repeated slowly, still taking it in.

«God, I knew you were Captain Slow but how thick can you be?» I chuckled, pushing him back against the sofa and straddling him. «Yes, James, I'm staying. No travelling to Rwanda. I'm staying right here.» I ran my fingers through his hair as I talked, and he closed his arms around my waist. Seeing that I was smiling at him he allowed himself to break out into a wide smile.

«I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy ...» He said with an apologetic shrug, still smiling.

«James, it's okay to be happy about this!» I insisted. «I'm happy about this! And excited! So why shouldn't you be?»

«I don't know, I... kind of feel like I made you stay,» he mumbled.

«Don't be daft, James, you didn't make me do anything. You were even amazing enough to say it was okay for me to go, that you'd wait for me. And I know you meant that. But it made me realise I don't want to make you wait for me. I don't want to be away from you at all. I guess you were right after all, in the end,» I admitted, giving him a kiss on the nose.

«Right? About what?»

«That if I loved you I would stay. And I do, so I'm staying.»

«I just hope staying won't make you unhappy,» he persisted.
«James, stop being such a killjoy. Staying here won't make me unhappy, not in a million years. I have you, and now I have a new job that I'm incredibly excited about. And a little intimidated, but I'm going to worry about that another day.» James finally seemed to relax a little, settling for what I was telling.

«Congratulations on your new job then, sweetheart,» he smiled and pulled me in for kiss.

«Thank you,» I smiled against his lips, feeling giddy with relief and happiness.

«When do you start?» he asked.

«In exactly two weeks. But the head nurse said she might be able to get me some shifts by the end of this week, just training shifts so I can get to know the place. God, I have to get to the library, I need to dig out some books on pediatrics and premature babies now, I have to study!» I sighed, terrified and excited at the thought. James just studied me wordlessly, smiling a little to see me in my excitement and joy.

«I'm glad you're staying,» James said honestly. «I know I said I'd wait for you until you got back, and I would have, but I'm not sure how well I would've coped with you being gone for months.»

«I'm not so sure I would've coped all that well, either,» I admitted. «But now we don't have to think about it.»

«You know, I have an idea. A few months from now, after filming Man Lab is over and we're done filming the studio bits for Top Gear, you and I should go somewhere. If you can get a few weks off work. Somewhere exotic and very far away. And preferably so damn hot that you will have to wear nothing but a bikini all the time... The Bahamas or Bali or Hawaii, whereever you want.» He smiled wider and wider as he talked, excited about his own idea.

«That sounds absolutely.... perfect,» I sighed. «I'd love that.» I leaned forwards and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging James tightly. Whatever friction this job in Rwanda had caused between James and me had been over quickly, when he'd had time to adjust to the idea he was amazingly supportive. But even with his support the decision had weighed very heavily on me. First now that it was over and the decision had been made, I felt just how heavy it had been. I kissed James' cheek and sat up, looking down at him. «Everything ready for the studio shoot on Wednesday?» I asked.

«Yeah, I think we're ready. As ready as we ever are,» he said rolling his eyes.

«Can I come with you to the studio? I never got to come with you again after that first time. And I'm bored of being here alone.»

«Of course,» he smiled. «It'll be nice having you there. And not having to drive alone.»

«I won't be too much of a distraction?» I smirked, running a playful finger down his chest.

«Not as long as you behave,» he warned, trailing my finger with his eyes. «You were a huge distraction the last time you were in the studio with me.»

«Was I? How? What did I do, I just stood there! We weren't even together!» I argued, trying to think back to what I might have done.

«True, we weren't together, and you did just stand there. But I was completely besotted with you and was very nervous and self-conscious. And on top of everything I let you drive that Aston Martin right before we started shooting. The sounds coming out of your mouth when you were in that car was very... very evocative, I couldn't get that out of my mind for days!»

«Oh, right... That...,» I blushed, having a flashback to myself gripping the steering wheel of the Aston, licking my lips and moaning loudly. «Well, what can I say, driving that car was an almost sexual experience...»

«... Yeah, I could hear that!» James chortled, his eyes glittering. «When I heard you making the same sounds in bed, I knew I couldn't be doing too badly.» At this I laughed loudly.

«I'd prefer you over an Aston any day,» I said with a sly smirk, nibbling his bottom lip. «Or even better, you in an Aston...» I mused. «But how do we do this though, at the studio I mean? Do I stay completely away from you and... act like we're just friends?»

«When the audience is around, that might be best..» he conceded. «But when it's just the crew around I don't care, I trust them.»

«Okay,» I nodded. As long as I knew the rules I didn't have any problems staying away from James when we were in public.

«Speaking of, I think you were right about people staring the other day at Box Hill...» He muttered a little embarrassedly. «Jez called me earlier, tipped me about a tiny piece in The Sun. Typical reader's tip thing, grainy mobile photo, 'spotted with unknown woman', the usual deal. I guess the rumors will start flying now, unless they already are.»

«Really? Someone took a photo?» I was a little surprised at this. Was I really in the papers?

«Everything has a camera these days,» James sighed.

«I know that, I'm just not.. used to them being used against me,» I admitted, suddenly feeling a little paranoid.

«Don't worry about it. You never know, maybe no one will be bothered and it might all be forgotten by tomorrow. But if it isn't, we'll just... make a statement or do something, make it publicly known and people will lose interest,» James said calmly. I nodded, immediately deciding to just trust his judgment. He was used to this, to dealing with media and press. I wouldn't mind us 'going public' either, but it would be a strange thing to know that people would know my name, how I looked and what I did for a living just because of who I was dating. «Now, what are we going to do to celebrate your new job? And the fact that you're not travelling halfway around the world?» James asked with a smile, obviously not worrying more about the subject.

«Indian food, a few pints and a shag?» I said, chuckling at the brashness my own suggestion. James laughed loudly.

«God, what am I going to do with you, you're so high maintenance! Not to mention quite the romantic!» he said, shaking his head with exasperation.

«It doesn't have to be five course meals and poncy drinks for it to be romantic, does it? Being romantic is just about showing each other some attention and adoration, not about how fancy or expensive or extravagant something is. Just because I prefer tikka masala and beer to caviar and champagne, does that make me unromantic?»

«No..» James said, smiling a little at me. «It makes you pretty damn perfect. Come on, let's go out to eat, I'm starving.»