Chapter 40

Little did James know that I had a surprise of my own. Next wednesday, when he went off to Guildford to record the studio bits for another Top Gear episode, I went off to take my final motorcycle driving test. To my immense relief and joy I passed, and immediately went off to treat myself to my very own Dainese motorcycle jacket and trousers, along with a helmet, gloves and boots. The bike itself would have to wait, I needed James' help to find out what bike I should get. Giddy with excitement I waited for the time when the shoot would normally be wrapped up and the guys would be on their way home. Not because I wanted to call James, but Richard.
«Hello?»
«Hi, it's me, Emily! Are you on your way home?»
«Ems! Yeah, I'm in my car, shoot finished half an hour --- You're aware you've called me, now, right, not James?» He asked, cutting himself off. I heard the swoosh and roar of distant traffic in the background.
«Of course,» I said with a chuckle. «It's you I wanted to talk to, actually. I wanted to ask you for a favour.»
«A favour? Oooh, I'm curious now!»
«Well, I want to surprise James, and I might need some help with it...» I continued vaguely.
«Surprise? For James? Okay, what do you need me to do? Take some photos of you in your underwear? Do a nude painting?» I couldn't help but giggle at Richard's eagerness and his harmless flirting, he'd always been that way and would always be.
«Calm down, hamster,» I said, pretending to be stern. «It's nothing like that.»
«Aaw,» Richard said, acting disappointed. But he rallied quickly. «What is it, then?»
«Well, I've been taking motorcycle lessons all summer without James knowing it, and I just got my license today,» I began explaining.
«You did? Wooow, congratulations! That's so cool, James will love that!» Richard said enthusiastically.
«Thank you!» I said, smiling stupidly at myself, being a little proud and happy to be done with it.
«James really has no idea?» Richard asked.
«No, I don't think so. I took most of my lessons when he was really busy with Man Lab... He asked me why I had never gotten a license when we went for a bike-ride once, but that was nearly three months ago, I doubt he even remembers.»
«Ooh, this is great!» Richard exclaimed, and I could hear the glee in his voice over the phone. There was a little silence. «How about we... humm.... I might have an idea, actually!»
«Really? That's great, because I don't!» I admitted. Richard made is suggestion, and we quickly made a plan for how we'd surprise James this coming weekend. Without even hesitating he agreed to lend me a motorcycle, saying he had complete faith in me and my driving abilities. «Great. Thank you so much, Richard! I'm excited now!»
«So am I! This'll be fun! Talk you you later!» We said our goodbyes and I did a mad little jig around the kitchen. I had called Richard just to check if he had any ideas, I hadn't expected such a level of eagerness and so much help from him. But he genuinely seemed excited about the idea, and now I was too and couldn't wait to see James' reaction in a few days. I busied myself with making food, having promised James to make some dinner for when he got back from the studio. James was normally the one who cooked in this household, or we did it together. I just wanted to do something nice for him. So I'd searched around for something to make, and thinking I wanted to try something I'd never made before I ended up with a recipe for chicken pie.

An hour later I vaguely heard James' voice and the slam of the front door over the music in the kitchen.
«In here!» I called out, trying to tidy up the mess I had made while making dinner. James appeared in the kitchen doorway looking a little tired, but happy to be home.
«Something smells good!» He said happily. With a smile he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss.
«Always the tone of surprise,» I said and rolled my eyes at him, then returned his kiss. «Chicken pie. Ready in 5 minutes.» James disappeared upstairs to get all the make-up from the shoot off his face, then we sat down to our dinner and our wine.
«You know, that whole excuse of 'oh I can't cook' isn't going to work anymore, because you just proved you can if you want to!» James said, pointing at me with his fork. «This is good!» he added, humming happily.
«And cooking for someone you love makes it more fun,» I said, and found myself blushing a little. James smiled happily and we ate in silence for a bit. Internally I was struggling, almost bouncing in my chair, I wanted so badly to tell James about passing and getting my license. But I had decided to make it a surprise, now I had to stick with it.
«Oh by the way, Hammond asked if I wanted to come on this motorcycle charity thing this Saturday,» James said as he put down his knife and fork. «It's up in Hereford somewhere.»
«Really? That sounds fun?» I offered, trying to sound convincingly surprised.
«Yeah, it would be fun» he conceded. «I haven't been on a motorcycle ride with Hammond for ages. I just wanted to check what your plans for the weekend are?» James looked straight at me, and I struggle to keep a straight face.
«Well, Cathy asked me today if I wanted to come down to Brighton for the weekend, they have a place down there... You know, girl's trip, shopping and girly cocktails,» I lied. I didn't like lying to James, it went against all my instincts, but this was for a good cause. «I haven't seen Cathy much after I started the new job.» On the inside I was giggling madly. I had called Cathy earlier, just to check if it was all right with her that I used her as a cover-story, and she was. «So, boy's weekend for you and girl's weekend for me, then?» I smirked. James nodded his approval.
«If you'll be gone all weekend there's no point in me sitting around here. Hammond would just be offended,» he observed. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief as the first part of our plan had gone well

Two days later, on Friday afternoon, I was running around the house packing, getting ready to leave. James had lent me the Panda as per usual, and I was getting oddly attached to that stupid little car.
«James! I'm done packing, I'll be leaving any minute!» I called through the house, James was writing on his computer in the study. I stuffed my wallet, phone and keys into a handbag, mentally checking that I had everything, then put my shoes on. James entered the hallway, looking from the bag by the door and over to me with a forlorn expression. «Aw, what's wrong?» I asked, taking a few steps towards him. James leaned his forehead against mine, sighing heavily. His hands were rubbing my hips slowly.
«Don't go,» he asked quietly. «I don't want to be here without you. I hate being in this house alone,» he added sulkily.
«Oh, James...» I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, caressing his neck. «Imagine how it's like for me every time you go away for work?» I reminded him, but not unkindly.
«I know, I don't know how you do it,» he said, still sulking.
«It's just for a few nights,» I soothed. «You'll have fun, and I'll have fun. And we'll see each other in a few days.» On the inside I was giggling again, knowing James would see me far sooner than he thought. «And in little over a week you and I are going to Bali, and it'll be just the two of us for two long, amazing weeks.» At this James smiled a little despite himself, then sighed again.
«I know, you're right,» he said, and gave my nose a kiss. «Have fun, yeah? But not too much fun. Don't... attract any men,» he added vaguely. James wasn't really the jealous kind, but then again he was often with me if I went to the pub or out to party and really didn't have any cause to be. But now he thought I was going to Brighton for a fun night out with a female friend, and part of him didn't like the scenario.
«James, this is Brighton. If I'll attract anything, it'll be some militant lesbian.» He chuckled a little despite himself.
«Don't mess around with them either!» He warned.
«I'm done with my experimental phase, love. I'll call when I get down there,» I promised. «Be careful on the bike ride, okay?» James nodded and pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss.
«I love you,» he said, his voice full of emotions.
«I love you more,» I said with a smile. James stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched me sadly as I pulled on my jacket and picked my bag and handbag off the floor. He followed me to the door and leaned against the frame with his hands still in his pockets. «You look like the most miserable spaniel that ever lived,» I observed, failing to hide back a smirk. He reminded me of what my dog back home used to do when she'd figured out I was leaving the house, which was to lie down on the sofa with her head between her front paws and look at me with sad puppy eyes.
«I miss you already,» he said, his voice sulky and sad again. I stepped close to him and rubbed my nose against his.
«You are such a soppy git!» I said with a little smile and kissed him. His unwillingness to let me go made me feel loved and needed, but I couldn't help but smile a little at his childish sulking all the same. If James and I had spent a few days apart it was always James who went away somewhere for work, so this was a departure from tradition. James wasn't used to being the one left home alone, I was always home whenever he was. «See you before you know it,» I whispered before resolutely marching away from him and heading for the Panda.

Driving out of London I headed west, and not south like I had told James. First I stopped by the place where I had bought my motorcycle gear, having agreed to pick it up right before closing time that day. As instructed I called Hammond when I had passed Gloucester, and he gave me directions on how to find his place. Driving up to the house I felt my jaw drop. The idiot did actually live in an honest-to-god castle. The front door opened and four dogs bounded out, barking happily, followed by Hammond.
«Oy! Behave! No jumping!» Richard tried marshalling his dogs, but the minute I got out of the car they were all over me, fighting to be the first to greet me and get some attention. «I'm sorry, they have no manners,» he apologised.
«Like owner, like dog,» I laughed, trying to greet four dogs at once. I crooned stupidly at them, saying hello and telling them how cute they were. «Aw, I miss having dogs,» I sighed, looking up at Hammond.
«You're living with a spaniel!» Richard said, his eyes twinkling.
«Ha-ha.» I got up, still surrounded by wagging tails and happily panting dogs. «Richard, you do actually live in a castle.»
«Yes! Yes I do! Welcome!» He said, stretching his arms out and pulling me in for a quick hug. He picked my bag up from the ground and gestured towards the door. «Come on, get inside. Mindy is waiting, she's excited about seeing you again!» I followed Richard and the pack of dogs inside. The house smelled of food, and Mindy was busy in the kitchen making dinner. She squealed and gave me a big hug and a glass of wine.
«Emily! Oh my gooood! Long time, no see!» She grinned, almost forgetting to stir around in pots and pans.
«I know! What has it been, 8 months or so?» I replied and had a sip of my wine.
«Christmas party, so yes, something like that! Not that strange though, you've had quite the year so far, from what I've heard,» she said airily.
«Yeah, there's been a lot of... stuff going on,» I admitted, looking into my glass of wine.
«I'd say! But thank god you and James finally got your thumbs out of your arses and got together!» She said loudly. I nearly choked on my wine and let out a loud laugh.
«Oh god, Jezza said the same thing. Was it really that obvious?!»
«Heavens, yes! You two had hearts in your eyes and fat little, naked cupids flying around your heads every time you looked at each other!» She giggled. After that we chattered non-stop, eventually boring Richard out of the kitchen entirely. Right before dinner their girls Izzy and Willow made their appearance and greeted me politely. They were so adorable and sweet it could make your teeth rot instantly. Eventually we all sat down for a lovely, but loud dinner. Mealtimes at the Hammond familiy houseshold was the exact opposite to what mealtimes was at home. Our dinners were calm and quiet, we chatted and laughed but this was just chaos in comparions. But fun chaos. The two girls were loud and silly, having fun with their daddy, the pack of dogs were constantly circling the table, trying to charm someone into dropping food. Meanwhile, Mindy and I were trying to keep up a conversation. It reminded me of family dinners back home in Norway with my siblings, nieces and nephews. After dinner Mindy played games with the kids while Richard and I tidied up the kitchen, chatting about what type of motorcycle I could get. Suddenly remembering I had forgotten to call James I ran outside and called him quickly, apologising a lot. James sounded a little more cheerful then when I had left, Colin had come over and they were having a few beers. I told him I loved him and we said our goodbyes. When the kids had gone to bed the house got a little more quiet. The three of us sat down with a glass of wine and chatted until midnight. Mindy and Richard were great fun to be with, easy-going and funny, and I made a mental note that James and I should spend more time with them.

The next morning I was awoken by someone gently shaking my foot. Opening my eyes I was surprised to see Richard by the foot of the bed in the guest-room, clad in a tight, white v-neck t-shirt and plaid pyjama bottoms. His hair was a little on end and the thought of how good he looked flitted through my subconscious. For a vague moment I wondered if I was having a dream about Richard I shouldn't be having.
«Oh thank god, I thought you'd died!» He burst out with relief. «Sorry, I tried knocking.»
«Muh? Oh, morning Richard,» I muttered, then yawned widely.
«Coffee and breakfast in five minutes! The girls have already gone, shopping and then off to Mindy's parents,» he waved and disappeared out of the room. To clear my thoughts I shook my head vigorously, then got out of bed and padded downstairs in just my pyjama bottoms. As I entered the kitchen I was eagerly met by the pack of dogs again, all greeting me happily. I spent a few minutes on the kitchen floor, letting myself be overwhelmed by them for a little, then I helped Richard make breakfast. A little later we settled down with omelet, toast and coffee. «Good weather for a ride!» Richard observed, looking out at the blue skies dotted with clouds.
«Yeah...» I nodded and smiled. «Should be great.» After ten minutes of me silently playing with my food, not really eating much, Richard decided he'd had enough.
«Awful quiet we are today? Nervous?» He raised his eyebrows quizzically.
«Well I.. yeah, a little,» I conceded, squirming a little in my chair.
«Why?»
«I'm nervous I'll crash your bike,» I muttered.
«Oh, don't be. And if you DO crash, I wouldn't worry about the bike, after all it's just a thing, I'd be far more worried about you! So I'd prefer if you didn't crash, but that isn't because I'm concerned about a stupid heap of metal,» Richard waved, having a sip of his coffee.
«I'll try not to,» I said with a reassuring little smile. «I'm nervous about the surprise, too. Excited, but nervous. I mean, what if he doesn't like it? If he gets... I don't know, angry or doesn't like that I've kept it a secret or-» Richard cut me off.
«Oh stop being silly, Emily! Of course he'll like it, and he definitely won't be angry! Why would he?»
«Well, I...» I wrung my hands, not knowing the answer.
«See, you're just fussing for no reason whatsoever,» Richard said firmly. «He's talked about you getting a license, right? I think it's a great surprise, and if he finds any reason to be a tosspot about it then I'll.. I'll kick his bike over!» I laughed at the angry, little Brummie working himself up, and instantly felt a little better. He was right, I was fussing for no reason. After breakfast we both retreated to our respective bathrooms and had quick showers, getting ready to go out.
«Emily! Grab your kit and come outside when you're done, I'll be in the shed!» I heard Richard's voice as he passed the guest room I was staying in. My new gear was in the backseat of the Panda, and I quickly got into the leather trousers and boots, feeling giddy and nervous. It would be my first motorcycle ride completely on my own. I slipped my jacket on but kept it open, tucked my helmet under my arm and headed for what Richard referred to as 'the shed'. It was more like a huge storage building, filled with cars and bikes. Having heard my footsteps Richard popped up from behind a bike he'd been fiddling with. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but he froze, staring at me.
«What?!» I asked, a little panic-stricken. «Did I put something on wrong? Did I forget something?!» I looked down, seeing my open leather jacket, my plain top and the biker pants, everything seemed to be in the right way.
«Nothing, just... James is a lucky man,» Richard said airily, but couldn't quite stop himself from eyeing me up and down a few times. He gave a random shrug with his shoulders and I could have sworn I saw the hint of a blush on him. A number of responses flitted through my head, I even contemplated flirting just as outrageously back at him. Mindy was a lucky woman; Richard was handsome, funny, great with his kids and a huge animal-person.
«Well... I'm a lucky woman,» I said. I thought of James, everything he meant to me and how we were as a couple. I imagined him smiling lovingly at me, the way his eyes crinkled when he luaghed, or how he kissed me. A wave of love and adoration washed over me, making me blush and smile a little at myself.
«You two really love each other,» Richard observed, having seen how my expression changed as I thought of James.
«I can't speak for him, but... I do, at least. Very much,» I admitted. Clearing my throat I looked pointedly around at the array of bikes, cars and other vehicles in the huge building. «Bloody hell, Richard...!»
«I know, it's ridiculous,» he waved, sounding like he'd heard it a million times before. «It's obscene, I know, and I don't need them all. But I love them,» he said stubbornly. «Now, lets find you a bike!» Richard milled around a little, eyeing his collection of bikes, and in the end he chose a black Triumph Bonneville. It was jet black and looked like a classic, British motorcycle, and I fell in love immediately. Richard picked up a Kawasaki for himself and then we set off for a trial run.

I was terrified at first. Suddenly I didn't have anyone watching over me which felt asburd, there was no instructor that I could talk through via bluetooth and I felt abandoned. How could someone be so apocalyptically stupid as to allow me to drive around on my own on one of these? Soon I realised that this was a little different, and far less stressful than riding in and around London. This was pure country roads, quiet and gorgeous, and I felt myself relaxing and settling down, just enjoying the thrill of driving on my own. Richard and I pottered around Hereford for three quarters of an hour, doing a loop that ended up back at his house.
«You ride like a pro!» Richard said as he took off his helmet.
«You look relieved...» I teased from where I sat straddling the bike, raising an eyebrow at him.
«All right, I might have expected it to not go quite that well,» he conceded with a shrug of his shoulders.
«Um.. Thank you, I think,» I said as I set down the sidestand and climbed off the bike. Richard checked his watch, then sparked up a cigarette, going over our plan one last time. Feeling the stress-levels rise in me instantly I bummed a cigarette and puffed like crazy while I went over the plan with him. A little later I saw the back of Richard's bike disappearing into the distance, and I looked at my phone to check the time. Ten minutes. Then I'd be off.

The little town centre of Ross-on-Wye was incredibly crowded. Richard wondered if all the motorcyclists in western England had shown up, he'd never seen the town so packed with people. Then again, far from everyone was wearing bike-gear, many people were around just to watch bikes and see the kerfuffle. The fact that Richard had announced on Twitter that he and James would be attending probably hadn't helped matters. He hunted down the registration office and signed himself and Emily in, getting their start-numbers to attach on the bikes and on themselves. Then he rang up James who was already in town, and told him to meet him by the station, which was close to the starting line. To his surprise James got there before him. When Richard arrived he was leaning against his bike, having a cigarette in the sunshine.
«Hello, mate!» Richard said as his bike came to a halt and he took off his helmet.
«Hammond!» James replied. «Bloody hell, this place is packed,» he added. A group of onlookers were already gathering around them, but at a polite distance for now. They were staring just as much at the TV-presenters as their bikes. Some were looking around suspiciously, as if they expected to see the camera crew appearing any minute.
«Yeah, putting on Twitter that we were doing this might not have been the best idea,» Richard muttered through the corner of his mouth.
«You pillock!» James sighed.
«Yes, yes, whatever, they can't all follow us around when we set off anyway,» Richard said carelessly. «By the way, I have a mate coming with us.»
«Mate? Anyone I know?» James said, frowning a little. He rifled through the index of Richard's friends that he'd met, trying to remember if any of them drove motorcycles.
«Yeah, you might know who she is,» he said, averting his eyes as he found it increasingly difficult to keep an entirely straight face.
«She?» James repeated, looking even more confused.
«Yes, it's a she. Shame on you for assuming it was a bloke,» Richard said and lit up a cigarette of his own. Leaning against his bike like James did he kept an eye on the road where Emily was most likely to appear. He heard and recognised the sound of the engine before he even spotted her. 'Good girl' he thought to himself as he straightened up and threw his fag-end on the ground, treading on it.
«Isn't that one of yours?» James observed as the bike with the, to him, unknown driver appeared around a corner.
«Yeah, she's borrowing it, she hasn't bought one herself yet.»