Chapter 68

 Over the next few hours a million things seemed to happen to me, none of which I felt I had any control over. Richard drove calmly to the hospital while I huffed my way through another few contractions, gripping the edge of the seat. Once at the hospital I was admitted, stuffed into a hospital gown, put in a rather dangerous-looking “labour” bed, poked with a needle, prodded and examined. Then I was wheeled in my bed into a room which the nurse kindly explained was a “family room”. It was cozy, it had a double bed, a comfy-looking high-backed armchair, a TV, a dresser with a changing mat and actual nice pictures on the walls. Furthermore she explained that this was where I could stay in the initial stages, but when it got close I would be pushed into the delivery room across the hall. I was still struggling to accept that my water had broken, the fact that I was basically in the early stages of labour was something I hadn't even began to contemplate.

Richard sat on a chair, trying not to pay attention to a conversation between Emily and a nurse that he felt was too personal for him to be listening in on anyway. He was grateful when his phone rang, which gave him an excuse to exit the room. When he picked up, he didn't even have time to say hello before the tirade came.

“Richard?! What’s going on, what’s happening?! I haven't heard a word in nearly two hours! That hardly qualifies as keeping my updated!” James barked.

“You've sobered up, I hear...” Richard muttered sarcastically.

“Richard! I have a machete!”

“James, James, relax! Everything and everyone is absolutely fine,” Richard said reassuringly. “Sorry I didn't call you earlier, traffic was a bit mental, we only got here about forty-five minutes ago, things have been a bit hectic...” He rambled apologetically. There was a long silence.

“... Good.” James' sigh of relief was audible even over the phone.”I'm in a car. The next flight to London didn't leave in a few hours, we figured it might be just as quick to just drive to London.”

“Please tell me you're not driving?”

“Mno, I threatened a sound-tech to do it or he'd be out of a job.”

“Well, needs must, I guess.”

“So.. How's Emily doing?”

“Emily? She's doing good, James, don't worry.” Richard decided to drop the comedy and be a mate for once, he could tell by James' voice that he was going spare. And he had no problems understanding him, either, if it had been him stuck in a wrong country while Mindy had gone into labour he would've lost it on the spot. “You know your woman, she's a Valkyrie, she can take absolutely anything.”

“I know she's tough, but... Richard, could I ask you a favour? Could you stay with her until I get there? She's going to say that you don't have to be there, that you can go home, but just... don't listen to her, just tell her you're staying. Please? I can't bear the thought of her having to go through this on her own. Especially if this baby is born before I get there.”

“James, you pillock, you don't even have to ask me that, I was going to do that anyway.”

“... Thanks,” James mumbled awkwardly. “Listen, could I talk to her, maybe?”

The nurse was long gone, and now I realised that Richard was gone too. I sat there in my enormous hospital-gown, feeling rather abandoned. Inside my stomach there was suddenly no sign of life, no movement, no contractions, no nothing, and even though the rational side of me knew that to be perfectly normal, it didn't help. It still worried me. I raised my head when the door opened.

“Hey, Emily. Want to talk to daddy?” Richard held up his phone, wiggling it a little. I bit my lower lip, looking sceptically at the phone, then I nodded. I couldn't not talk to him, how would that seem? Shaking I accepted the phone and held it up to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello, sweetheart. How are you doing?” James voice was warm and tender, and the sound of it nearly tore my insides a part. With a pang I realised just how badly I missed him, how much I needed him here with me. Once again I bit my lip, so hard I tasted blood. When I spoke, it took all my concentration to keep my voice steady and calm.

“Hi, sweetheart. I'm okay. You know, after the circumstances...”

“Is Richard being nice to you?” At this I almost laughed, looking over at Richard who was now sitting in a chair restlessly flicking through an issue of 'Mother & Baby', his hair slightly on end.

“Yes, as a matter of fact. He's brought me chocolate. And ice chips, for some reason. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with those, and he won't tell me, but he says I'll thank him.”

“Good, good...” James mumbled, obviously not taking in a word I was saying. “Emily, I'm on my way home, I'm in a car right now, we're about an hour out of Paris. GPS says this should take about four more hours... Hopefully we won't have to wait too long for channel tunnel train. If we do, I might actually swim the damn channel myself.”

“Okay...” I said feebly, a sour lump swelling in my throat again.

“Could you just... Keep it in until I get there?” He begged, only half joking.

“I'll do my best. Just... get home, okay? But be safe.”

“I will. I'm not the one driving, if that's any comfort.”

“Good! Means you'll be here faster!” I retorted in an attempt to make a joke. That was when I realised I couldn't hold on much longer. “Listen, James, I better hang up, there's a nurse here to talk to me,” I blatantly lied.

“Oh, okay... Keep me posted, yeah...?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” As soon as I had hung up, I flopped back on the pillow with a huge sob that completely took my breath away. Richard obviously hadn't caught the last of our conversation, but he caught my sob and leapt out of his chair. To my slight surprised he didn't ask me what was wrong or why I was crying, he just took my hand in his and caressed my arm soothingly with the other, letting me cry.

“Its okay, Emily... He'll be here soon, he's on his way. I know that doesn't help much right now, though,” he said after a while. I squeezed his hand in an attempt to signal that I had heard him and appreciated his comfort, speech still beyond me. Eventually I heaved a deep breath, sniffed and wiped my face.

“I just... I just couldn't cry on the phone,” I said with a choked voice. “He's in France because of me, I practically forced him to go, promising this wouldn't happen while he was away, that this baby wouldn't be early. I just couldn't... let him hear me be upset that he wasn't here, it wouldn't be fair on him, its my fault he's not here right now. And now he's doing everything he can to get back, so I couldn't let him hear me... fall apart.” Richard sighed and pulled up a chair, then sat down an studied me for a little.

“The two of you are just.. incredible,” he sighed, shaking his head a little. “You two love each other so much you would do practically anything to protect each other. Its amazing how either one of you would gladly destroy yourself if it meant you could shield the other.”

“I would, it's true...” I confirmed with a sniff and a nod, fidgeting with my hands. “Richard, I... I know you only came by to check on me, and that this is probably the last thing you want to be doing on a Saturday night... I hate asking about this, but do you think you could stay here until-”

“Don't insult me by asking, then,” Richard cut me off. “What do you take me for? Of course I would never leave you here on your own. If you want me to stay here, of course I'll stay.”

“Thank you,” I sniffed, feeling a little awkward. I drew a deep breath, calming down a little. There was a knock on the door, and a woman entered. Smilingly she introduced herself as Julia, the midwife, and I shook her hand. Still smiling she turned to Richard.

“So this is the expectant father? Hammond, is it?” She asked, stretching out a hand towards him, obviously recognising him from the telly. Rising from his chair he shook her hand while spluttering feeble protests.

“Oh no, no, I'm just a friend I'm not the.. um.. It isn't me, I'm married, I have children. Its the other one. You know, with the long hair, flowery shirts...?” I couldn't help but laugh loudly at Richard's rambling. She midwife looked confusedly from Richard to me, her smile faltering a little.

“'The other one' is in France, on his way home,” I explained. “Richard was just visiting me and then the water broke and.. well, here we are. Hopefully he'll be here in four hours or so, Richard is staying with me until then."

“Oh, right! Well, lets hope the expectant father gets here in time,” she said soothingly, her smile back again, then she turned on her heels and left. Feeling restless and anxious I managed to heave myself out of bed and began waddling around the room, pacing back and forth. Time seemed to hardly move as my eyes were constantly on the clock on the wall. The contractions were still far apart, and not as bad as I had expected, but I was almost resenting every one of them as I knew each one brought the birth closer. After some experimentation I figured out that hanging over the hospital bed somehow made the contractions easier to get through. Richard kept his calm, cheering me on and rubbing my lower back when it hurt. It was getting late, and I felt bad for keeping Richard up

After a few hours Richard's phone rang, he looked at the screen and then just handed it to me. I read James' name on the screen and steeled myself again.

“Hi, sweetheart,” I said in a bright voice, sitting down on the bed.

“I'm in the right country at least, thank god!” James announced loudly.

“Oh, yaaay!” I cheered.

“We were lucky with the channel train, didn't have to wait long, we just got off it. I still feel like I have been in this car for three centuries!” He said frustratedly. There was a little silence, then he sighed. “I'm sorry, what am I complaining about, you are the only one who should be allowed to complain right now. How are you, honey?”

“I'm okay, nothing much is happening so far, its slow going... I think you're going to make it here in plenty of time, I have contractions about every ten minutes.”

“How awful are they?” He asked sympathetically.

“Not so bad yet, I'm doing okay. ”

“Honey, I'm so sorry, I wish I was there, you have no idea how much I wish I--”

“James, don't do this, there's no point. Just... Concentrate on getting here, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.” I hung up and handed the phone back to Richard. “He's in England, they just got off the train.”

“Oh, that's good! They must be making good time, then.” Richard said brightly. Just as I was about to answer Richard, a pain shot through my pelvis and lower back, it was like every muscle in my midriff cramped up. My 'yeah' transformed into a long, strained howl of pain that made Richard jump.

“Ow... ow ow ow ow...,” I complained as the pain receded finally receded, the contraction having lasted longer than any of my previous. “That felt... different. Bad different!”

“Well, in my experience, birth is a thing that sort of grows... a million times worse before it gets better,” Richard said cautiously, making a sympathetic frown. “At least that was the general impressions Mindy gave...” After that, the contractions changed completely, becoming longer, more painful and more frequent. I had read enough about giving birth to know that there were several different types of contractions, all with different functions and manifestations of pain. As my first bout of contractions had been bad, these were agonisingly all-consuming, sweeping everything else from my mind. Walking around was out of the question now, my legs just buckled under me every time the pain hit. After half an hour of increasing misery I called for the midwife. As I described the changes in my contractions she promptly threw Richard out and did a quick exam.

“Oooh, things have definitely changed! You're at six centimetres now!” She said happily, her head emerging absurdly from between my legs.

“What?!” I squeaked. The last time I had been examined there had barely been any dilation at all. If I had felt like I wasn't in control then, I really felt out of control now. “Do you think it'll happen soon?”

“I can't answer that, dear,” the midwife said, draping a blanket over me again. “It might happen soon, it might not be for hours and hours. There really isn't any way to tell. There has been a lot of progress in the last hour, but it might not continue this way, the dilation might stop for a while, I just don't know. How far away is your partner?”

“I don't know, couple of hours, maybe less.” I talked fast as I was bracing for the next contraction that was coming on.

“I'll send your friend in again, all right?” She asked, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was huffing my way through another wave of pain. I just nodded and grunted, far too preoccupied with my own suffering. Richard returned and sat down on my bedside, offering up a hand for me to squeeze if I needed to.

“What did she say? She didn't tell me anything,” Richard asked when I relaxed and stopped huffing.

“Apparently this baby is in a fucking hurry all of a sudden,” I grumbled. Then, abruptly and without warning I began crying again. A wave of panic and fear swept over me, every bit as painful as the physical agony of contractions. “No, no, no, I can't do this, I'm not ready for this, and I'm not sure James is either. I can't do this, I can't have a child, its scares the fucking life out of me! I'm not ready for this baby to come out yet...” I wailed.

“Ssh ssh, Emily, calm down....” Richard soothed. He waited for my sobs to calm down before he continued speaking. “Of course you are ready for this, you both are. I know it's scary, but... You and James are going to be such amazing parents. Both of you are calm, intelligent, caring people, and you'll both do everything you possibly can to do what is best for your child. Of course it's daunting, but you've both been so excited and happy about this, too. And that's what so amazing about having a baby, it's like nothing you've ever experienced in your life.”

“That's for sure...” I sniffed.

“Emily, don't worry. You and James love each other, which is the most important thing. Besides, this baby is going to have a whole bunch of aunties and uncles that can help out. Not just James' family but me and Mindy, Francie and Jezza.. We'll all be there.”

“Okay... Thanks...” I mumbled.

“Don't tell James I spoke nicely of him.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” I smiled weakly. I squeezed Richard's hand, looking at him gratefully. “I'm glad at least one of us has gone through this before! Thank you so much for staying here, and for... being so great to me. You're turning out to be a good midwife. Mid...husband? Midman?”

“Birth assistant?” Richard suggested, and I laughed. I spent the next hour huffing and wheezing my way through contraction after contraction, bullets of sweat hailing on my forehead. Between every wave of pain I fought my increasing panic that James wouldn't make it in time. When Richard called James to give him an update, they had just driven past Maidstone and he'd be at the hospital within an hour.