The door flew open and a wild-eyed, bushy-haired James burst through it, breathing like he had run all the way from Paris on his own two legs. Both of us looked calmly up at him from where we were, me standing by my bed and Richard sitting on a chair in a corner. Coming to an abrupt halt he stared at us both with utter confusion in his eyes.
“What did you expect? Blood and goo and hysterical screaming?” I asked, chewing my lip not to smirk at him.
“Something like that! I expected you to be in bed, at any rate,” he said, still out of breath. In three hurried strides he crossed the floor towards me. Despite being sweaty and already feeling exhausted, my heart beat faster at the sight of him and a wide smile spread on my face.
“Hello, sweetheart...” He smiled too as he wrapped his arms around me, giving me a long hug while running his hand down my back.
“Sorry, I'm all sweaty and icky,” I apologised. He didn't care, but kissed my cheek then pressed his lips against mine. “You've been drinking, you wanker,” I smirked, smelling the alcohol on him.
“Yeah... But I have so much adrenaline in my body, I swear I have never been more sober in my life,” he giggled back a little nervously, his eyes glittering. For a moment I forgot everything around me, I forgot about being in a hospital, about Richard and about being in labour, all that existed was my James and his beautiful eyes. “Also, you promised me this wouldn't happen and that this baby wouldn't, under any circumstances, come for another three weeks at least,” James reminded me.
“Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up...” I smiled innocently up at James. “Call it even?”
“Okay...” James breathed, smiling then giving me another kiss. Richard cleared his throat in the background, obviously feeling rather ignored. He'd gotten out of his chair, looking a little awkward. “Hammond.. Thanks a lot for staying here,” James said, looking even more awkward, and to my surprise he even gave Richard a hug.
“No worries, mate...” Richard answered, patted his back. “Listen, I'm going to get out of here, leave you two alone, this is your moment after all.” He looked from James to me, and I nodded at him. Richard came over to me and I took his hand in mine, squeezing it.
“Richard, thank you so, so much for staying here with me, for all your help... I don't know what I would've done without you,” I said gratefully.
“You've been doing great, Emily. You can do this,” he said reassuringly, then took a step closer and gave my forehead a kiss before hugging me.
“Thanks...” I squeaked, and for some reason I was crying again, touched by Richard's words and his tenderness.
“Let me know when it's over, okay? I want to know everything; weight, length, hair-colour, innie or outie, if James cried like a sissy, everything.” At this I gave a watery chuckle.
“Okay, I will,” I nodded. “Drive safe.” Richard picked up his jacket, put it on and waved one more time before exiting the room.
“And now you're stuck with me... a blithering incompetent idiot,” James said a little apologetically, wrapping his arms around me.
“Both of us is pretty incompetent at this, though, none of us has ever done this before,” I smiled back. A great weight had been lifted from my shoulders now that James was here, I felt like I could breathe easier and actually focus on what I knew was going to get only worse and be one of the toughest things I would ever have to go through. Richard had been great and done everything he could to help and support me, and without him I would have been an absolute wreck. But now that I had James with me, the prospect of going through the rest of my labour didn't seem so daunting.
“I'm surprised you're up and walking,” James admitted, studying me intently.
“I wasn't before, but it's been quiet for the last twenty minutes,” I explained, rubbing at my aching back.
“It just.. stopped? What does that mean? Is something wrong?” he jabbered, instantly worrying.
“No no no, James, relax, it doesn't have to mean anything. It just.. happens. Its just... taking a break,” I shrugged, running my hands over my stomach. Just as I said so, the pain shot through me again and I bent over double. “See? Juuuust a break,” I groaned, crawling back into bed on my hands and knees. Standing on all fours I hung over the raised headboard of the bed, huffing.
“Anything I can do?” James asked, doing a poor job at keeping the panic in his voice to a minimum. “Rub my back...” I begged. I felt James' hands on my back, trembling. “Lower down, and harder.”
“Hammond did this better, didn't he,” James asked mildly when he sensed that the contraction was over.
“Actually, yes,” I admitted with a snort, then awkwardly turned around in the bed, coming to rest on my back. James hovered by my bedside, looking tense and pale.
“We could call him, you know, get him back here, he can't have gotten far,” James suggested.
“Oh don't be daft, James,” I scoffed.
“I'm sorry, I'm just feeling... utterly clueless,” he said, looking desperately unhappy.
“Sweetheart... Just that you're here means everything to me,” I smiled at him, stretching out a hand towards him. He took it and I pulled him closer, making him sit down on the edge of my bed. “Having Richard here was good, he's done this before so he was very calm and together about everything. But... he isn't the father of this baby.”
“I hope not..” James mumbled under his breath, but I could see the teasing glint in his eyes.
“Don't even go there!” I said, unable to stop myself from laughing. “The point is - he isn't you. And you are all I care about. This isn't a competition about who is the better birth helper, you know,” I smirked, and James blushed a little, averting his eyes. “I feel so much better now that you're here, I was so worried you were going to miss out on this.”
“I was worried about that, too.. You know, out of all the races and things we've done on Top Gear, this was by far the most nerve-wracking, it was the longest car journey of my life!”
“Please tell me you didn't drive?”
“And land myself in prison on top of everything else? God no. I've been drinking!”
“What did you expect? Blood and goo and hysterical screaming?” I asked, chewing my lip not to smirk at him.
“Something like that! I expected you to be in bed, at any rate,” he said, still out of breath. In three hurried strides he crossed the floor towards me. Despite being sweaty and already feeling exhausted, my heart beat faster at the sight of him and a wide smile spread on my face.
“Hello, sweetheart...” He smiled too as he wrapped his arms around me, giving me a long hug while running his hand down my back.
“Sorry, I'm all sweaty and icky,” I apologised. He didn't care, but kissed my cheek then pressed his lips against mine. “You've been drinking, you wanker,” I smirked, smelling the alcohol on him.
“Yeah... But I have so much adrenaline in my body, I swear I have never been more sober in my life,” he giggled back a little nervously, his eyes glittering. For a moment I forgot everything around me, I forgot about being in a hospital, about Richard and about being in labour, all that existed was my James and his beautiful eyes. “Also, you promised me this wouldn't happen and that this baby wouldn't, under any circumstances, come for another three weeks at least,” James reminded me.
“Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up...” I smiled innocently up at James. “Call it even?”
“Okay...” James breathed, smiling then giving me another kiss. Richard cleared his throat in the background, obviously feeling rather ignored. He'd gotten out of his chair, looking a little awkward. “Hammond.. Thanks a lot for staying here,” James said, looking even more awkward, and to my surprise he even gave Richard a hug.
“No worries, mate...” Richard answered, patted his back. “Listen, I'm going to get out of here, leave you two alone, this is your moment after all.” He looked from James to me, and I nodded at him. Richard came over to me and I took his hand in mine, squeezing it.
“Richard, thank you so, so much for staying here with me, for all your help... I don't know what I would've done without you,” I said gratefully.
“You've been doing great, Emily. You can do this,” he said reassuringly, then took a step closer and gave my forehead a kiss before hugging me.
“Thanks...” I squeaked, and for some reason I was crying again, touched by Richard's words and his tenderness.
“Let me know when it's over, okay? I want to know everything; weight, length, hair-colour, innie or outie, if James cried like a sissy, everything.” At this I gave a watery chuckle.
“Okay, I will,” I nodded. “Drive safe.” Richard picked up his jacket, put it on and waved one more time before exiting the room.
“And now you're stuck with me... a blithering incompetent idiot,” James said a little apologetically, wrapping his arms around me.
“Both of us is pretty incompetent at this, though, none of us has ever done this before,” I smiled back. A great weight had been lifted from my shoulders now that James was here, I felt like I could breathe easier and actually focus on what I knew was going to get only worse and be one of the toughest things I would ever have to go through. Richard had been great and done everything he could to help and support me, and without him I would have been an absolute wreck. But now that I had James with me, the prospect of going through the rest of my labour didn't seem so daunting.
“I'm surprised you're up and walking,” James admitted, studying me intently.
“I wasn't before, but it's been quiet for the last twenty minutes,” I explained, rubbing at my aching back.
“It just.. stopped? What does that mean? Is something wrong?” he jabbered, instantly worrying.
“No no no, James, relax, it doesn't have to mean anything. It just.. happens. Its just... taking a break,” I shrugged, running my hands over my stomach. Just as I said so, the pain shot through me again and I bent over double. “See? Juuuust a break,” I groaned, crawling back into bed on my hands and knees. Standing on all fours I hung over the raised headboard of the bed, huffing.
“Anything I can do?” James asked, doing a poor job at keeping the panic in his voice to a minimum. “Rub my back...” I begged. I felt James' hands on my back, trembling. “Lower down, and harder.”
“Hammond did this better, didn't he,” James asked mildly when he sensed that the contraction was over.
“Actually, yes,” I admitted with a snort, then awkwardly turned around in the bed, coming to rest on my back. James hovered by my bedside, looking tense and pale.
“We could call him, you know, get him back here, he can't have gotten far,” James suggested.
“Oh don't be daft, James,” I scoffed.
“I'm sorry, I'm just feeling... utterly clueless,” he said, looking desperately unhappy.
“Sweetheart... Just that you're here means everything to me,” I smiled at him, stretching out a hand towards him. He took it and I pulled him closer, making him sit down on the edge of my bed. “Having Richard here was good, he's done this before so he was very calm and together about everything. But... he isn't the father of this baby.”
“I hope not..” James mumbled under his breath, but I could see the teasing glint in his eyes.
“Don't even go there!” I said, unable to stop myself from laughing. “The point is - he isn't you. And you are all I care about. This isn't a competition about who is the better birth helper, you know,” I smirked, and James blushed a little, averting his eyes. “I feel so much better now that you're here, I was so worried you were going to miss out on this.”
“I was worried about that, too.. You know, out of all the races and things we've done on Top Gear, this was by far the most nerve-wracking, it was the longest car journey of my life!”
“Please tell me you didn't drive?”
“And land myself in prison on top of everything else? God no. I've been drinking!”
Now that James had arrived and I gone into a more relaxed state of mind, my body took that as a sign to speed things up significantly. Contractions became more and intense and came as often as every three minutes. When the midwife came to check on me she decided it was time to move into the actual delivery room. After that everything turned into a blur. One contraction just seemed to be replaced by a new one, I was in a chaotic haze of pain and misery. I concentrated on breathing, determined to use my energy for other things than screaming bloody murder, even though I wanted to at certain times. The only time I screamed was when I asked if I, for the love of god, could maybe be allowed to push now?! The midwife gave me permission, and not a moment too soon, because after four or five pushes the pain , the tightness, the tension, the strain, everything just disappeared.
“What happened?!” I asked breathlessly, as my eyes had been tightly shut and I hadn't even seen what had happened.
“Your daughter was just born,” Julia replied, half-laughing at my stupid question. On cue there was a high-pitched, unearthly cry and my eyes sprang open. She was holding a baby, purple-pink and shiny and screaming her lungs out. “Open your shirt, dear. Here you go, baby, here's mummy,” she crooned, placing the protesting infant on my now bare chest. Completely mesmerized, having forgotten about everyone around me including James, I stared at the baby whose trembling wailing was dying down to small, squeaky sobs.
“Hello, little human...” I sniffed, tears pouring down my cheeks. Julia brought a preheated blanket over and draped it over the baby.
“Congratulations mummy. And congratulations daddy,” she said, her face shining. This reminded me that James was there, and as I looked over to him I saw that he was white as a sheet and his eyes were wide with shock.
“James? You all right?” I asked mildly. His eyes snapped up from the baby to me and he nodded absent-mindedly, his eyes dropping down to the baby again. Looking at the infant again, I saw that she had opened her eyes and was staring up at me, blinking slowly. “Hey, you... Hello, sweetheart. Welcome to the world...” I sniffed. For a long time I just stared at her, hypnotized at the sight. She was mine, I had made her, she was my daughter. Our daughter. “God, you're a gloopy, messy one, aren't you?” I gave a watery chuckle and ran a trembling hand over her sticky tufts of light brown hair and down her back.
“What is that on her skin again?” James asked, looking up at the midwife, and she launched inot an explanation about 'vernix caseosa'.
"Listen, how about I take her for a minute and get her cleaned up a bit, weigh her and do all of that. Meanwhile you can get cleaned up a little too? Get into a clean bed and so on?" Julia suggested mildly.
"All right..." I said hesitantly, unwilling to let my baby go. With a trained, gentle hand Julia lifted up the baby and cradled her in her arms. "I'll give you two a minute on your own. Then I'll send in a nurse to help you get cleaned up." She turned on her heels and disappeared, and I stared after her, already missing the warmth of my child. With a sigh I closed my hospital shirt, then turned to look at James, who still looked pale and shaken.
"Sure you're all right?" I asked again. Ignoring my question he just took my hand in one of his, then ran the other of my forehead.
"You did...so good, Emily. I'm so impressed, and immensely proud of you," he smiled. "You are absolutely amazing."
"Aw... Thank you, sweetheart," I said, returning the smile.
"God, I love you," he sighed, then leaned in and gave me a long, lingering kiss.
"I love you too," I said, squeezing his hand. "Can you believe our baby was just born?"
"No," he said flatly, shaking his head a little.
“What happened?!” I asked breathlessly, as my eyes had been tightly shut and I hadn't even seen what had happened.
“Your daughter was just born,” Julia replied, half-laughing at my stupid question. On cue there was a high-pitched, unearthly cry and my eyes sprang open. She was holding a baby, purple-pink and shiny and screaming her lungs out. “Open your shirt, dear. Here you go, baby, here's mummy,” she crooned, placing the protesting infant on my now bare chest. Completely mesmerized, having forgotten about everyone around me including James, I stared at the baby whose trembling wailing was dying down to small, squeaky sobs.
“Hello, little human...” I sniffed, tears pouring down my cheeks. Julia brought a preheated blanket over and draped it over the baby.
“Congratulations mummy. And congratulations daddy,” she said, her face shining. This reminded me that James was there, and as I looked over to him I saw that he was white as a sheet and his eyes were wide with shock.
“James? You all right?” I asked mildly. His eyes snapped up from the baby to me and he nodded absent-mindedly, his eyes dropping down to the baby again. Looking at the infant again, I saw that she had opened her eyes and was staring up at me, blinking slowly. “Hey, you... Hello, sweetheart. Welcome to the world...” I sniffed. For a long time I just stared at her, hypnotized at the sight. She was mine, I had made her, she was my daughter. Our daughter. “God, you're a gloopy, messy one, aren't you?” I gave a watery chuckle and ran a trembling hand over her sticky tufts of light brown hair and down her back.
“What is that on her skin again?” James asked, looking up at the midwife, and she launched inot an explanation about 'vernix caseosa'.
"Listen, how about I take her for a minute and get her cleaned up a bit, weigh her and do all of that. Meanwhile you can get cleaned up a little too? Get into a clean bed and so on?" Julia suggested mildly.
"All right..." I said hesitantly, unwilling to let my baby go. With a trained, gentle hand Julia lifted up the baby and cradled her in her arms. "I'll give you two a minute on your own. Then I'll send in a nurse to help you get cleaned up." She turned on her heels and disappeared, and I stared after her, already missing the warmth of my child. With a sigh I closed my hospital shirt, then turned to look at James, who still looked pale and shaken.
"Sure you're all right?" I asked again. Ignoring my question he just took my hand in one of his, then ran the other of my forehead.
"You did...so good, Emily. I'm so impressed, and immensely proud of you," he smiled. "You are absolutely amazing."
"Aw... Thank you, sweetheart," I said, returning the smile.
"God, I love you," he sighed, then leaned in and gave me a long, lingering kiss.
"I love you too," I said, squeezing his hand. "Can you believe our baby was just born?"
"No," he said flatly, shaking his head a little.
There was a gentle knock on the door, and a nurse entered with a wheelchair and a washbowl full of cloths and towels. She ushered James out of the room and directed him back to the family room. Then she set about helping me get cleaned up and into a new hospital gown before she helped me out of bed and into the wheelchair, as my legs were a bit wobbly. When I was wheeled into our room James was sitting the chair that Hammond had occupied most of the evening, still looking shell-shocked. The nurse helped me over in the bed, then quietly exited the room. As if on cue, Julia appeared with a baby bed on wheels. The baby lying in it now looked very different from the one I had seen twenty minutes earlier. Her skin colour had become more normal, even though she was still quite pink. Most of the waxy goo that had been on her was gone, and she was now clad in a white onesie and cradled in a pink hospital blanket.
"I thought you might want this back," Julie said in a quiet whisper, gently lifting the baby up and placing her in my arms. The baby opened her eyes at the sensation of being moved.
"Thanks," I whispered back. Staring at the bundle I couldn't stop grinning so badly it nearly hurt. "How much did she weigh?" I asked, realising that it couldn't have been much.
"5.7 pounds, and a shade over 18 inches. She's a tiny one, but she is nearly four weeks early. And her mum isn't a giant either," Julia smiled, not looking worried about her small size at all. "Everything is fine, blood pressure and heart rate is normal, good oxygen levels in her blood, everything is perfect. Now, try to get some sleep, all three of you."
"Oh god, what time is it? What time was she even born?" I asked, having forgotten such a concept as time even existed.
"It's now... 3:20am and she was born at 2:47 am. If you need me, you know how to get hold of me." Julia walked out of the room and quietly shut the door behind her. The baby in my arms was wide awake, staring wonderingly up at me. Looking over at James he scooted his chair closer, also needing to look at her.
"Hello, pumpkin... I bet that felt nice, huh? Getting all that goo off and getting some nice, clean clothes on." I crooned softly at the baby, smiling all the while. With amazement I ran my fingers over her now clean hair and her incredibly soft skin, drinking her in. Running a fingertip over her cheek and the corner of her mouth, she immediately turned her head a little towards my finger, opening her mouth a little. I had read enough about babies and birth to know that within the first hour the instinct to breastfeed could arise. "See? Instinct is kicking in already," I smiled up at James. "All right... Lets see if we can figure this thing out, huh? You and me, we'll figure it out, won't we?" Onehanded I undid the buttons on my hospital gown and pulled the shirt away, exposing a breast. I pulled her closer to it, and with my free hand I steered my nipple towards her mouth, brushing it over her lips. She opened her mouth again and I pulled her even closer. She gaped wide, tried to suckle and lost it a few times, then she got the hang of it. "Oh goood this feels weird!" I exclaimed, and James laughed.
"I can imagine it does!” he conceded with a little snort.
“That's my girl!” I cheered in hushed tones. The baby suckled for a little bit, but then her pace slowed and she blinked slowly a couple of times, eventually falling asleep with her lips against my breast. “Lights out, it seems.”
“Maybe you should try and get some sleep too,” James suggested mildly.
“Yeah... But I'm not putting her down,” I said stubbornly. I had been sitting in bed, my back against the headboard. Slowly, hoping I wouldn't disturb her too much, I laid her down next to me on the bed, making sure to wrap her in her blanket before I inched down onto the bed, coming to rest on my side with my head on the pillow. Then I pulled my baby girl as close to me as I could, wrapping an arm around her. James rounded the bed, took off his clothes and crawled under his own duvet. As I closed my eyes, letting myself relax, I felt his hand on mine. Then I was out like a light.
"I thought you might want this back," Julie said in a quiet whisper, gently lifting the baby up and placing her in my arms. The baby opened her eyes at the sensation of being moved.
"Thanks," I whispered back. Staring at the bundle I couldn't stop grinning so badly it nearly hurt. "How much did she weigh?" I asked, realising that it couldn't have been much.
"5.7 pounds, and a shade over 18 inches. She's a tiny one, but she is nearly four weeks early. And her mum isn't a giant either," Julia smiled, not looking worried about her small size at all. "Everything is fine, blood pressure and heart rate is normal, good oxygen levels in her blood, everything is perfect. Now, try to get some sleep, all three of you."
"Oh god, what time is it? What time was she even born?" I asked, having forgotten such a concept as time even existed.
"It's now... 3:20am and she was born at 2:47 am. If you need me, you know how to get hold of me." Julia walked out of the room and quietly shut the door behind her. The baby in my arms was wide awake, staring wonderingly up at me. Looking over at James he scooted his chair closer, also needing to look at her.
"Hello, pumpkin... I bet that felt nice, huh? Getting all that goo off and getting some nice, clean clothes on." I crooned softly at the baby, smiling all the while. With amazement I ran my fingers over her now clean hair and her incredibly soft skin, drinking her in. Running a fingertip over her cheek and the corner of her mouth, she immediately turned her head a little towards my finger, opening her mouth a little. I had read enough about babies and birth to know that within the first hour the instinct to breastfeed could arise. "See? Instinct is kicking in already," I smiled up at James. "All right... Lets see if we can figure this thing out, huh? You and me, we'll figure it out, won't we?" Onehanded I undid the buttons on my hospital gown and pulled the shirt away, exposing a breast. I pulled her closer to it, and with my free hand I steered my nipple towards her mouth, brushing it over her lips. She opened her mouth again and I pulled her even closer. She gaped wide, tried to suckle and lost it a few times, then she got the hang of it. "Oh goood this feels weird!" I exclaimed, and James laughed.
"I can imagine it does!” he conceded with a little snort.
“That's my girl!” I cheered in hushed tones. The baby suckled for a little bit, but then her pace slowed and she blinked slowly a couple of times, eventually falling asleep with her lips against my breast. “Lights out, it seems.”
“Maybe you should try and get some sleep too,” James suggested mildly.
“Yeah... But I'm not putting her down,” I said stubbornly. I had been sitting in bed, my back against the headboard. Slowly, hoping I wouldn't disturb her too much, I laid her down next to me on the bed, making sure to wrap her in her blanket before I inched down onto the bed, coming to rest on my side with my head on the pillow. Then I pulled my baby girl as close to me as I could, wrapping an arm around her. James rounded the bed, took off his clothes and crawled under his own duvet. As I closed my eyes, letting myself relax, I felt his hand on mine. Then I was out like a light.
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